


Open Your Eyes, Popstar

by larrytale



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst?, M/M, blind!louis, i think, its just gay, nice and gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-09 03:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrytale/pseuds/larrytale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So basically Louis is blind and tries out for the X factor where he meets Harry and -- well you know their story, but this time Louis can’t see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this beautiful au meme](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/20456) by http://www.icantlouis.tumblr.com. 



> So, this isnt the first fic ive written, it is however the first fic I have posted so do with that what you will 
> 
> and believe it or not i actually worked hard on this in case you cant tell (you probably cant tell) but i did research for this fic you know im devoted when i break out wikipedia.

Louis grabbed the handle, and flung his bedroom door open. He could hear his sisters bustling around in the hallway, getting ready for school, most likely.

He was surprised when someone grabbed his arm and pulled him back in his room.

“Today is the big day, and I am not letting you leave the house looking like _that._ ” Lottie said as she led Louis back to his bed.

“What’s wrong with this?” Louis asked, gesturing down to his clothes.

“Louis, you are wearing pattern on pattern, and you have two different socks on.”

Louis made a face.

“I know. Besides, didn’t we already decide that I would pick out what you wear to try out for the X factor? It’s a big event Lou, and I hate to say it, but,” she paused. “you’re already at a disadvantage, so we need to wow the judges any way we can.”

Louis sighed. He knew he was at a disadvantage, he always has been.

Being blind kind of has that effect on a person.

But the thing is, Louis doesn’t really mind being blind anymore. On a good day, he doesn’t really find it that big a deal. He’s not generally negative about it because he can’t change it, and why bother feeling bad about something you can’t control?

But it’s days like today, when he can hear Lottie rummaging through the clothes that he can never seem to pick out himself, that he truly realizes just how much of an impact his blindness will have on his life.

He’s not fully blind, he can see shapes and movement sometimes, but he can’t see anything more - never has been able to, and most likely never will. He feels the bed sink next to him, but doesn’t turn in the direction where he’s sure a member of his family is looming.

“Louis honey, look at me.” Jay always says that. Just that one little phrase, those five words, are enough to bring tears to Louis useless eyes. He turns his face in her direction and takes in a shaky breath.

“What’s the point, Mum? What’s the point of looking, if I can’t see?”

An arm was draped around his shoulders, and his Mum guided his head to her shoulder. “Don’t say that Louis.” She said sternly. She hated it when Louis talked himself down because of his sight. She absolutely hated it. One reason is because she couldn’t really comfort him about it because, even with all the books that she’s read on it, she will never genuinely know what it’s like to be like Louis.

“This should look good.” Lottie said as she grabbed Louis hand and put the neck of a shirt in his grasp and balled up his fist. “The front of the shirt is facing me, and I put your pants on the bed, the front of them facing them up, okay?”

“Thank you,” he said, as he felt around with his other arm for his eldest sister.

Lottie maneuvered herself so that she was in between Louis and their Mum, sitting on both their laps.

“I love you Louis.” She said as she gave him a side hug.

“I love you too,” he replied. “now get out of my room so I can change.” He let out a little laugh.

He felt the bed rise and heard the door shut. “Are you out?” He yelled. His sisters have played tricks on him before, opening and shutting the door but staying in the room.

It really freaked him out.

“Yeah,” He heard Lottie shout from down the hallway, and he knew it was okay for him to start stripping his clothes off.

-

The queue was long, or, so Stan had told him.

Louis could most definitely feel everyone around him, and it was nerve-wracking.

He was stuck in this mindset where he felt that everyone was better than him, and even if they weren’t, they could see, so they still had a better chance than Louis.

Lottie seemed to be able to read his thoughts. “You’ll be fine Lou, I promise.”

“Yeah,” Stan echoed, “you’re the best singer I know.” Louis had only brought the two of them. Stan was his best mate, and if he were being honest, Louis couldn’t picture doing anything this big without Lottie by his side. He would’ve liked his mum to be there too, but she had work and the other girls had school, but he did enough convincing to let Jay allow Lottie to come with him, so he was content.

Stan’s hand rested on the small of Louis’ back, and he pushed Louis gently forward a little when the lined moved up. To any bystander, it would look completely normal, just a mate comforting a mate. They would remain completely unaware to the fact that Louis actually had no idea where he was going, how many people were left until he got to sing for the judges, or how many people and cameras are focused in on him, and him alone.

And in that moment it was something Louis was all too aware of.

-

There was a commercial break right before Louis was supposed to go on.

Dermot O’Leary asked Louis some brief questions while the judges were on their break. He kindly let Louis out on the stage to count the steps he needed to take to find center stage, and Louis was grateful for that.

“Don’t think we’ve ever had a blind person on the show.” Dermot said as he, Stan, Lottie, and Louis sat in the wings, waiting for the show to resume.

“That’s very reassuring,” Louis said dryly. “No way I’ll be nervous now.”

Dermot laughed. “I meant it as a compliment, mate. Very brave of you.”

Suddenly, a big count down sounded overhead.

Louis looked around helplessly.

He started to shake. “I’m going to suck - I’m going to suck so hard - I’m going to be facing the wrong way and embarrass myself Stan I can’t breathe I can’t see and I can’t breathe-“

“Lou, Lou, Lou calm down.” Stan soothed, rubbing his hands up and down Louis’ arms. “They’ll love you I know they will, and if they don’t they can piss of.”

“I second that.” Lottie said.

“I third that.” Dermot said, making Louis lips twitch up in a small, wet smile. “Go get ‘em kid.” Dermot said, and Louis was handed a microphone as he was spun in the direction of the stage. Louis wiped his eyes with the back of his other hand.

The countdown ended.

Louis took a step. And another. 3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10…11…12…13…14… and… center stage.

He spun 90 degrees, and prayed he was facing the judges dead on. He was, but the fact that he wasn’t looking them square in the face did not go unnoticed.

“And what’s your name?” He heard Louis ask him from the judge’s chairs.

He was told Louis Walsh, Nicole Scherzinger, Cheryl Cole, and of course, Simon Cowell were the judges for this season.

He really liked Cheryl Cole.

“Uh, I’m Louis Tomlinson.” He said with a shaky smile.

“Tell us a little bit about yourself, Louis.” Simons voice rang in his ears.

“Uh, I’m 18, from Doncaster, I’ve got four sisters, and-” He took a deep breath, “and I’m nearly fully blind, but I love to sing.”

He could hear the collective gasp from the audience. He clutched the microphone harder.

“Well Louis,” Simon sighed. Louis could tell his chances were slipping away. “Show us what you’ve got.”

Louis gave his all into his rendition of Hey There Delilah. He had lost so many things from his blindness, but he wasn’t going to lose this. He wasn’t going to let an opportunity like this slip through his fingers just because he couldn’t see where to hold his hands.

When it ended, the crowd erupted into cheers. Louis was still shaking.

Meanwhile, Harry Styles, a 16 year old who had already made it through this part of the X factor decided to watch the rest of the show to scope out the competition. He wasn’t regretting his decision one bit. He stood up and clapped for Louis, before looking around at the rest of the audience. He watched, and smiled as the people around him stood up with their applause. Harry knew he should be worried about Louis, he could really sing and was possibly a threat, but there was just an instant connection that Harry felt just from watching Louis up on the stage, blind eyes and calming voice.

It all encouraged him to stick two fingers in his mouth and let out an ear-piercing whistle, just for Louis.

“You’ve got to tell him!” Came Dermot’s voice over the microphone. “You’ve got to tell him they’re standing up for him!” His voice was full of cheery happiness, and Louis let out a nervous laugh.

The applause suddenly died down. Louis’ nerves came back.

“Louis-” Louis said. “-great name by the way-“ the audience laughed. “I’m going to say…yes!”

The audience cheered, and Louis smiled. “It’s a yes from me.” He heard Cheryl say, and an agreement was slowly squeezed out or a reluctant Nicole. All that was left was Simon.

“Well,” he said. “It doesn’t really matter what I say now, because you’re going through either way,” more cheers. “but that doesn’t make what I have to say any less important.” Louis could hear Simon lean back in his chair. “I think you can go places with your talent,” Louis let out a breath. He knew what was coming. “That being said, I honestly don’t think you’ll make it too far in this competition.” Everything was silent. “You can sing, but you can’t see.” Louis’ face fell. “I know that’s a pretty shit way of saying it, but I’m not here to beat around the bush. You cant see how many fingers I’m holding up, you can’t see how many people stood up for you just now, and seeing it, I’ve been told, is the best part of living it.

“You can’t – its very difficult, to imagine you doing all these wonderful things out in the world, living the life of a popstar, because you’re missing one of the most important assets of being a human. You will not be capable of things that need to be done, and for that reason, I’m saying no.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Louis said into the microphone, quieting the boo’s that filled the arena. “I’ve missed out on things due to my disability before, but I won’t let this become one of them. I may not be able to see you, but I’ll be able to hear you congratulate me for winning and Grammy one day, and I’ll be damned if I don’t.”

More cheers erupted, Harry shouted and whooped, and Louis felt a body collide with his, and arms wrap around his torso and neck. He recognized them as Stan and Lottie.

“‘M so proud of you.” Stan whispered in his ear. They unwrapped their arms from around him and instead each grabbed one of Louis’ hands, and the crowd cooed as Lottie and Stan slowly led him back into the wings of the stage.

“Louis Tomlinson, everybody!” Dermot said into the cameras that apparently surrounded them. Louis was looking every which way trying to give at least one of them a good look at his face.

He never found out if he succeeded.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this a day late, I had a family emergency and I was kind of forced to leave my house rather suddenly, and I couldnt bring my laptop. PLEASE FORGIVE ME ILL TRY TO NOT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN I FELT TO GUILTY ALL WEEKEND BHUIEGRNKDF
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the reading ((sorry its shit))

"Boys! I need all the boys up on the stage!” The X factor choreographer announced loudly.

Harry was making his way up onto said stage, when he realized he didn’t have his water bottle.

“Can I go get my water?” He asked one of the nearby producers. “I’ll be quick.”

They just nodded and got back to handling their camera.

“This is going to really set you back Louis,” Harry heard Simon say once he was finally backstage. “you can’t watch and learn the dance like everybody else, and the choreographers just don’t have the time to teach you the moves privately, and even if they did, it would take _hours_ to just get you to be at least _half_ as good as the rest of the boys-“

“I know, Simon-“

“So you’re just going to have to sit by and take a 0 on the dance evaluation process…”

Louis looked sad as he nodded, and Harry frowned. Louis should never be sad, or at least Harry felt that way. He had been trying to find the blind boy ever since his audition, but within the hectic-ness that is the X factor, he had no such luck.

This was a great opportunity.

“What are you guys talking about?” Harry asked as he approached the couple.

“Nothing Harry,” Simon sighed. “get back on stage.”

“Who is it?” Louis asked, tilting his head up slightly.

“I’m Harry. Harry Styles.” Harry reached a hand out to Louis out of habit, but retracted it quickly, blushing.

“Oh yeah I heard about you. 16, yeah? From Holmes Chapel?”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s me.” Nobody spoke for a moment. “So I couldn’t help but over hear the fact that you uh, won’t be dancing with us?”

Louis nodded. “Sounds like it.”

“Well - I’d be willing to try and teach you the moves.”

Simon shook his head. “That’s a bad idea Harry.”

“Why?” Harry questioned.

“Because you would be risking your own future over what could possibly be a complete waste of time.”

Harry narrowed his eyes. “Louis isn’t a waste of time-“

“Harry you don’t have to teach me the moves. I mean, I can barely cross the street, I don’t think I’m going to be playing Dance Dance Revolution anytime soon.” He let out a small laugh.

Harry smiled. “You never know, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good teacher.”

“Harry-“ Simon started, but Harry cut him off and grabbed Louis hands, clutching them to his heart, and sticking his bottom lip out in a small pout.

“Please Simon,” he begged. “I promise we’ll be good.”

Louis laughed. Simon sighed.

“Fine. On your own head it be.”

“Yes!” Harry cheered.

“Now get up on that stage, Styles. You and Louis can start working together tomorrow in the main studio.”

-

“…okay so you’re going to lift your leg up like this-“ Harry grabbed gently at Louis’ calf and moved it up in the air about a foot and a half. “-and then you’re going to put your arms above your head and clap.” Louis did as he said.

“Good! Great, now, from the top.”

Louis did the dance move pretty well; he slid to the right, moved his head side to side, lifted up his leg, and then clapped.

“You did it Louis!” Harry applauded. “In fact, I think you’re better at this dance than I am.” Harry laughed, and so did Louis.

“Well I wouldn’t be able to do it witho-“

_“Call – from – Lottie.”_

A robotic voice filled the room. Harry looked at Louis.

“What’s that?”

“It’s my phone,” Louis said. “Uh, can you get it for me? I think it’s…” He pointed in front of him, before turning irritably, and pointing again. “Well, I put it on one of the chairs in here, but I have no idea where the fuck the chairs are.” He frowned.

_“Call – from – Lottie.”_

Harry looked around and saw a chair in the corner of the room by the door – with Louis’ jacket on it.

He walked over and picked up the jacket, and an iPhone was left on the blue plastic material.

_“Call – from – Lottie.”_

He hurriedly picked it up and jogged over to where Louis was standing. Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and placed the phone into it, making sure Louis had a firm grip on the device before letting it go.

_“Call – from – Lottie.”_

It was weird watching Louis use the phone. For starters, he didn’t look down at it. Harry’s not stupid. He knows Louis is blind and that looking at the screen really wouldn’t do anything, but it was strange to witness.

  
Louis had put the phone on speaker, (he had mentally decided that it was about to go to his voicemail anyway, and he had run his thumb over the answer and speaker button right after one another, and it was way too much of a hassle to fix it. Plus, he could try to introduce Lottie to Harry, and vice versa.) and suddenly Lottie’s screech of ‘ _Louuuuu Bear!’_ was being echoed across the room.

“Lottie, I am in the middle of some very important business.” He said jokingly.

It was automatically clear to Harry how much Louis loved his sister. The way his whole entire face just lit up and his voice changed into this easy and carefree sound. It was truly amazing.

“Well Mr. Tomlinson, I have some very important business of my own.” She said back with just as much mirth.

“And what would that be, Ms. Tomlinson?”

“Well, me and Mum are currently looking for a new walking stick for you since you broke your other one when you were drunk with Stan-“

“Wait,” Louis said, the blush still evident on his cheeks. “Why do I need a new walking stick? I know the house like the back of my hand, you know that.”

“Yes but you don’t know the Judges House that well-“

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here,”

“Louis you’re _amazing_ of course you’re going to the Judges House!”

Louis opened his mouth, but Lottie cut him off.

“Don’t you even dare think about denying it. You hear me, Louis?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Good.” Harry and Louis could basically feel her grin through the phone. “Now back to that _important business_ we were talking about. What color do you want your new stick to be?”

Louis threw his head back and laughed, and Harry let out a little chuckle. “Blue.” Louis smiled. “To match my eyes.”

“And mine.” Lottie replied.

“And the ocean is blue, innit? But so is the sky? That’s really weird. How do sailors know which way is up and which way is down?” When you think about it, the question is kind of sad. Considering the so obvious point that Louis had never seen something so huge as the sky, or so popular as the sea. But Harry couldn’t help but think of it as simply adorable.

“Well, the sky and the ocean are different shades of blue.”

“Shades? What’s a shade?”

“It’s like,” she paused. “A shade of a color is like a different degree of the color, a different intensity. There are over a million shades of each color. Make more sense now?”

Louis wrinkled his nose. “Not really. Colors are weird. And confusing. How do you sighted people keep them all straight?”   

Lottie laughed a little. “One less problem for you then.”

“Must be.” Louis agreed.

“Listen, I have to go. I’ll get your stick and drop it off at the studio tomorrow, alright?”

“Sounds good.”

“I love you, Lou.”

Louis bit back a smile. “I love you too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

The phone beeped and Louis turned his phone off. It was silent for a minute.

“Harry?” Louis asked. “Are you still here?”

“Oh yeah, yeah I am, sorry Lou.” Harry said, reaching out and grabbing Louis hand and dragging him off to the chairs. “I just – you’ve gotten drunk before?”

Louis scoffed. “Of course I have. Not in a bar obviously, but Stan would bring some beers over and, yeah.”

“Oh.” Harry said with a hum and a nod.

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Louis asked, tilting his head to the side.

  
“Oh, uh, nothing it’s just that – I mean, I thought – you didn’t – because you can’t-“

“You can say it Harry, I know what I am.”

“I don’t want to say it.” Harry said without missing a beat.

“Why?”

Harry held his lips in a firm line. “Because,”

“Because why?”

And it was so childish, but yet so serious at the same time. Here, in front of Harry, is this boy. This stupidly charming boy with this baffled little half smile; just waiting for the answer Harry doesn’t really know how to give. He knows why he doesn’t want to say it. He feels as if out rightly saying ‘you’re blind’ would be like admitting it. Harry doesn’t really want to admit it though, because being blind makes you different, and Harry knows that being different is usually not a very good thing. Harry doesn’t want Louis to feel different; he doesn’t want Louis to be treated at a lower rate than anyone else just because he can’t see. If there’s one thing Harry thinks Louis deserves, it’s respect.

So he chooses another tactic: one that is just as true, but a little less personal.

“Because I can tell you don’t like it. The way your face just kind of – darkens, and your shoulders drop. I believed you, at your audition, when you said you’ve lost things due to your,” Harry had to choose his wording very carefully, he realized. “difficulty. And being where you are right now, I think it’s the last thing you want to hear. In fact, I _know_ it’s the last thing you want to hear. So I’m not going to say it, and if anyone even comes _close_ to mentioning it or being weird towards you because of it, I’ll be sure to slap them for you, yeah?”

Louis smiled and reached out towards Harry.

“Thank you Haz.” He said as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s shoulder.

It was a little awkward considering they were sitting down, but Harry returned the gesture with a grin even brighter than the sun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is pretty much a filler chapter, basically i just wanted to clear up the cause of Louis' blindness while emphasizing his and Lotties relationship and thus this chapter was born!
> 
> I have also started watching Criminal Minds and i have not slept for the past 2 days so if my editing is shit thats why forgive me please tv is just so good

“Look, all I want to do is give my brother his walking stick, and then I’ll leave – out of your hair.”

The security guard looked skeptical.  “And how do I know you’re not some crazed fan coming to spy on the contestants?”

Lottie’s hand dropped to her hip and she gave the man a _‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me’_ look. “Do you want to follow me around while I give this to Louis?”

“I'm sorry kid. I can’t let you in. Authorized Personnel only.”

Lottie looked aggravated. “Oh I’ll show _you_ Authorized Person-“

“Lottie?”

Lottie froze with the walking stick halfway in the air, and the security guard got out of his ducked position.

“Uh…Curly?” She said confused.

Harry had been watching the exchange and figured now was a good time to interfere, before Lottie _actually_ started beating the poor guy.

“I’m a friend of Louis uh, my name is Harry, I don’t know if he ever talks about m-“

“Harry Styles?” She said, straightening up. “ _The_ Harry Styles?” Harry nodded. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” She seemed very polite all of a sudden. Harry was kind of overwhelmed.

He turned to the security guard regardless. “She’s uh – with me.”

“Mr. Styles-“

“I’ll bring her to her brother and then she’ll leave. It’ll be fine.”

The guard sighed. Harry honestly had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t even know if he was _allowed_ to bring Lottie into the studio with him. But, with the way the guard was looking at him with such a powerless look on his face, he figured he could.

“Fine.” The guard sidestepped Lottie and let her through. Lottie held out her hand and Harry took it hesitantly. She then turned around and threw a wink at the security guard. “Catch ‘ya later.” She said. Harry actually laughed.

Once they were both out of earshot, Lottie turned to Harry. “So,” she began. “do you know where my brother is?”

“I think so. We were doing interviews in alphabetical order, and I was actually just on the way back from mine, so he should be just getting started.”

Lottie nodded “Lead the way then, dance instructor.”

And if Lottie saw Harry smile at the image of Louis talking about Harry being his _‘dance instructor’_ over the phone, well, she didn’t mention it.

-

“Am I looking at the camera?” Louis was honestly getting frustrated. He and this camera man named Tom, had been sitting in this little room for at least 20 minutes just trying to get Louis to look into the camera lens.

It wasn’t Louis’ fault. He’d finally get it right and then the guy would move the bloody camera again!

“I don’t know Louis, _are_ you?”

It was clear Louis wasn’t the only one frustrated.

“You suck.”

“Who sucks?” Lottie said as she dropped Harry’s hand and sat next to Louis on the big white couch.

“Lottie!” Louis cheered as he wrapped his arms around his sister and dragged her in his lap. “You should’ve told me what time you were coming!”

“Why? This way it was surprise,”

“I hate surprises.” Louis grumbled, burying his head in Lottie’s neck. “Missed you though.”

“Missed you too Lou.”

“Okay, that’s sweet and all but we really have to get on with this interview before we fall way behind schedule.” The camera man said. “You.” He pointed his finger at Lottie. “And you.” He pointed at Harry. “Out.” He waved his hand toward the door.

Harry was happy with just turning around and getting on with the day and meeting Louis later, but Lottie it seemed, had other plans. “Why? These interviews are for votes, yeah? Well what’s gonna make someone love Louis more than his own little sister joining him for the interview!”

The man just sighed. “I’m not getting rid of you am I?”

Lottie grinned. “Nope!”

Louis pinched her cheeks. “She’s a stubborn one, she is.”

“Harry are you going to be joining them too?” The man said with more than enough sarcasm.

“Harry’s here?” Louis said.

“Yeah ‘m here.” Harry replied.

“Harry! Stay to watch my interview, make me less nervous.”

Harry smiled. “Of course Lou,” he said slowly. “I’ll be right by the door.”

“Which direction is the door in again-“

“Bloody hell can we _please_ just begin the interview?” The man was getting red in the face.

“Oh right yeah. Should I keep my eyes open or closed?” Louis asked.

“Open, definitely open. Only because your eyes are so pretty.”

“Okay!” The camera man shouted. “First start off by telling us who are, where you’re from, and who the hell is sitting on your lap.”

“Got it.” Louis nodded.

“Good now we’re rolling in 5-4-“

“ _Wait_ am I looking at the camera?”

“Yes now 3-2-1, and _go.”_

“Hello X factor watchers! My name is Louis Tomlinson, I’m 18 and from Doncaster, and currently sitting on me one of my four little sisters, Lottie.” Lottie waved to the camera.

“Now tell us a little bit about your story.” The man said.

Louis took a moment to think. “Well, I’ve been blind since birth, and one question I get asked a lot is ‘ _if you’re blind, why do your eyes look so normal?’_  Well! To anyone watching who was wondering this, you’re in luck because I am going to answer it right about now.

“You see children, the blindness that you most often encounter is usually caused by a deformity in the eye, making it ‘weird’ or ‘unnatural’ looking. Me however, I suffer from something called Cortical Blindness. That means that my blindness actually has nothing to do with my eye at all.

“Cortical Blindness is caused by damage to the brain occipital cortex – that’s the part of your brain that receives and processes what you see. And since I was born blind, what my doctor thinks happened, is that someone when I was in my Mums tummy, the oxygen going to my brain got cut off so it didn’t develop properly.” Louis finished his statement with a closed-lip smile and a nod.

“And here you have Louis, the walking encyclopedia.” Lottie said, and everyone in the room laughed.

Well, except Tom.

“Next question,” Tom said. “What do you see?”

Louis smiled and kind of chuckled. “ _What?_ What kind of question is that? I never understood why people asked me this question but they do. All the time. They’re all like ‘what do you see, you _must_ see something’ and I’m just like ‘well, no. I don’t see anything’ and then it’s a five hour conversation. I mean, do they not understand what being blind means?” He laughed again. “If I knew what I was looking at, maybe I wouldn’t have so many bruises on my shins.” He grinned.

Harry was actually surprised by Louis’ answer. Louis joked to Harry about being blind all the time, but he never thought Louis would do it in an interview like this. Harry wasn’t upset by it quiet the opposite actually. He was really glad that Louis could laugh about his disability, and also had the power to make people laugh with him. Louis had such a good out look on a life he couldn’t even see, and that truly astounded Harry.

“Okay nice, next question. What was it like growing up blind?”

“Oh! Oh! I can answer this one.” Lottie said. “Louis was always a really great big brother, and he always tried to help out around the house and babysit me and my sisters and stuff. He would always help us with our homework and he read us stories and it was cool because he could read the book without looking at them. We even have a whole bookshelf just full of braille books at home. My favorite thing though is when he would sing to us, he’d always sing to us.”

“Yeah remember that one time you guys had me sing you that one song for to you guys for literally _hours_ on end and I was ready to die.”

Harry chuckled from where he stood in the doorway. “What song was that?” He had completely forgotten about the camera. Louis entranced him so much that he was the only thing Harry could see. How his lips quirked into a little smile when Lottie talked about him reading to them, and how his cheeks turned a bashful pink when she talked about him singing. What Harry really liked though, was how at some point during the interview he had grabbed Lottie’s hand and was currently playing with her fingers.

It interested Harry because their hands weren’t in the view of the camera, so Louis wasn’t doing it to look a certain way for votes; he was doing it because he wanted to. It was so sweet Harry thought he would just melt.

“Sing it! Sing it! Fizzy and Daisy and Phoebe will watch this and sing along it’ll make them so happy, please? Here, ready, I’ll even give you a beat.” She started to snap and clap very rhythmically, and Harry knew that this wasn’t the first time they’ve done this.

Louis had to bite down the grin on his face. “Promise you wont laugh?”

It took Harry a moment to figure out that Louis was talking to him. “I won’t laugh, Lou. I saw your audition remember? I already know you can sing.”

“There you go, the seal of approval now go sing, go.” Lottie started snapping and clapping again, but this time she was laughing giddily as Louis cleared his throat.

_“I’ve been waiting my whole life for a someone like you to go and,_

_“Steal me heart, just the way you do it’s been one,_

_“Hell of a year, here waiting on you,_

_“So I got some questions for you,”_ Louis poked Lottie in the side and she laughed louder, pausing in the middle of her noise making to tickle Louis’ ribs.

The next lines were laced with giggles.

_“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven,_

_“Did it hurt just to know I was right here a-waiting_

_“Did you know, do you know_

_“It was love, from the first – time – we,”_ Louis slapped his hand on Lottie’s head and sang out _“touched.”_ Leading Harry, Lottie, and Louis himself to laughter.

 _“Fa la, ah ooh, ah ooh ooh, do do do do do,”_ Lottie changed up the clapping and snapping order, and Louis finished off with an _“ah.”_ Like the kind of sound a person makes when they finish taking a sip of water.

Lottie and Harry both cheered and whooped, and Louis just laughed. “Oh shut up, the both of you. ‘Making me blush.”

“Harry come cuddle our boy.” Lottie said and gestured him over to the couch while grabbing Louis and hugging his head into her shoulder.

Harry couldn’t help himself; he ran over to the couch and tackled both of them in a hug.

“Boo Bear, Boo Bear, Boo Bear,” Lottie chanted as Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ sides and trapped him in a side hug.

“Oi!” Tom shouted over the laughter and mirth. “I had one more question, but you lot are so wild that a.) I don’t want you in my presence anymore and b.) we ran out of time anyway! So goodbye. Shoo. Get out.”

They climbed off one another rather quickly and stumbled out the room, Lottie and Harry both holding Louis’ hands. The door got slammed behind them, and it took approximately .3 seconds before they were all bursting out laughing once again.

 _“That_ was incredible.” Harry chuckled.

“But Harry did you see the guys face! He looked like he was about to murder us!”

“I wouldn’t blame him,” Louis said through bouts of laughter. “we barely got through anything!”

“But that was hysterical!” Lottie protested. “Everyone loves someone with a good sense of humor!”

Lottie had looked over and saw how Harry had grabbed Louis’ walking stick in their hasty retreat, and was looking at Louis with pure adoration and idolization in his eyes.

She suddenly reached up and brought Louis head to her ear. “And everyone,” she whispered, “most definitely includes Harry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way the song Louis sang is called Did it Hurt? by Never Shout Never


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes when im bored i try to learn braille 
> 
> its a lost effort braille is fucking hard man

Louis put his hand on the windowpane of his single person hotel room, and immediately felt the warmth seep through his skin. It was sunny out.

He moved his stick around on the floor until it bumped into his suitcase, and he knelt down next to it. He carefully picked out some boxer briefs, shorts, and a t-shirt. He then stood up, threw them on his bed, and began to take off his clothes.

When Louis was stark naked, someone knocked on the door.

“Hold on a second,” Louis called as he hurriedly shoved his legs through his briefs, and ran his fingers around the waistband to make sure that they were up all the way. “Coming.”

Louis opened the door halfway and said. “Who is it?”

There was silence for a moment. “It’s uh-“ Harry cleared his throat. “Harry. It’s me Harry.” The blush on Harry’s cheeks spread to his face as he gave Louis a very thorough onceover.

Louis never found out, of course.

“Oh, hey Harry. Come on in, ’m just getting dressed so you can, yeah.” Louis smiled and Harry walked in, shutting the door behind him.

Harry sat down on the bed and watched as Louis felt around for the button on his cargo shorts before actually putting them on.

Louis had such a specific way of doing things, Harry noticed. How he would run his finger inside the waistband of his briefs and shorts combined, just to make sure they looked normal. How he felt the neck of his shirt for the tag, so he knew which way to put it on. Such simple things that Harry did without a second thought, were things that Louis had a whole bloody routine for.

“Harry?” Louis asked as he ran his fingers along the hem of his shirt, pulling it down as far as it could go.

“Yeah?”

“Could you pass me my backpack? It should be right next to the bedside table, if I remember correctly.”

Harry looked down and found the bag. He stood up and walked over to Louis, placing it in his hand before sitting back down.

Louis felt around until he found the third pocket zipper. He opened it up and pulled out a watch.

 _A watch?_ Harry thought. _What’s Louis going to do with a watch?_

Harry watched on curiously as Louis strapped the Velcro watch onto his wrist, and it wasn’t until he tapped twice on the screen of the watch, did Harry understand that it wasn’t a normal watch.

“ _8:48 a.m._ ” The ‘watch’ said out loud and Louis smiled.

He placed his hand on the windowpane again.

“You ready for boot camp auditions?” He asked.

Harry sighed. “Not in the slightest. How ‘bout you?”

Louis laughed humorlessly. “Not in the slightest.” He echoed. “But, it’s now or never I suppose.” He paused before singing out, ”Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.”

Louis removed his hand from the window, and Harry saw that as his chance to wrap his arms around Louis’ waist in a big bear cuddle hug.

“I just want you to know,” Harry said, shutting his eyes and resting his head on Louis’ shoulder. “that if you get through and I don’t, I’m going to use every single text I get to vote you all the way to the top.” He even dared to peck Louis’ neck with his lips.

Louis turned around in Harry’s arms, and hugged him back. “And in the more likely event that if - and when - _you_ get through and _I_ don’t, I expect my name to be in your thank you speech.”

Harry laughed. “I’ll write it a million times over.”

“A million and one and it’s a deal.”

Harry grinned and slapped Louis in the back of the head. “You’re impossible.”

“You love me though.”

Harry just sighed.

-

“So Louis tell us why you think you’ve got the X factor.” Simons voice sounded dishearteningly cold.

Louis had a speech prepared for this exact moment. He’d been rehearsing it all morning. He was going to say how music helps bring people together, how it helps people understand each other. And how Louis was no different from anyone else in that sense. He was going to talk about how music had helped him make friends, and although it was all true, Louis threw that speech out the window. Louis decided to say what was on his mind, and what came from his heart.

“I think I’ve got the X factor because music is everything to me. The words, the notes, the chords, they paint a picture. A picture that I know I’m never going to see. But I just feel like it brings me _that_ much closer. It gives me so much hope and happiness.

“Listening to what singers feel, and how they describe it helps me to be able to see through their eyes. And that’s all that I’ve ever wanted. To be able to feel what other people feel, to see what they get to see, and music really helps me do that. I think it’s helped me a lot over the years, and it’s why I’m standing in front of you today.” He licked his lips. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to close your eyes, and see what picture this song paints. And just remember that I’m probably seeing the exact same thing. So uh, on that note,” Louis cleared his throat and let out a small, anxious laugh. “here we go.”

The music then began. The Judges closed their eyes. Louis counted the beats in his head.

_“’Cause all of the stars,_

_“Have faded away,_

_“Just try not to worry,_

_“You’ll see them some day,_

_“Just take what you need,_

_“And be on your way,_

_“And stop crying your heart out,”_ There was a small instrumental bit in the song, and Louis tapped his foot to the music.

_“We’re all of the stars,_

_“We’re fading away,_

_“Just try not to worry,_

_“You’ll see us someday,_

_“Just take what you need,_

_“And be on your way,_

_“And stop crying your heart out,_

_“Stop crying your heart out,_

_“Stop crying your heart out,_

_“Stop crying you-“_

“Stop, stop!” Nicole exclaimed. The music stopped instantly. Louis stilled. “Stop singing before I actually cry my heart out.” Louis smiled. She kept going. “I want you to tell me Louis, what you see.” Her voice wavered, a color of sadness painted her tone. “I’m going to keep my eyes closed, and I want you to tell me what you see right now, after singing that song.”

“I see,” Louis bit his tongue. “I see someone who’s trying to follow their destiny, while at the time, trying to keep all these people next to them, and they’re trying to keep them, because the person thinks they make him happier, make him see who he is. I see him soaring. Up in the sky, touching the stars, with a trail of people clinging to his ankle. I see that whenever he touches a star, a person lets go of his ankle, and drops. I see him crying.

“I see him crying because he doesn’t want to let them all go. But he looks up, he touches more stars, and he realizes that you _do_ have to let people go. You have to do things on your own and you have to let yourself be free. I see him realizing this, and I see him _himself_ taking all the people off his ankle. Making them all let go, so he goes faster, and faster, up to where his destiny lies. And as he gets closer, I see him grin. I see him stop crying, and I see him smile. It’s beautiful, it really is.”

Louis didn’t know what the Judges were doing. He couldn’t tell that they were crying. In fact, it wasn’t until Nicole's next words that he knew the Judges were emotional at all.

“I see that too.”

-

“That was incredible!” Dermot said as he helped Louis down the steps of the stage. “I’m nearing tears myself!”

“I don’t really know why,” Louis said. “Were the Judges crying? Nicole sounded like it, but she was the only person who spoke.”

“Let’s just say I’d be surprised if you didn’t pass this round.”

-

He didn’t pass this round.

Neither did Harry.

“I don’t get it!” Louis cried. “I just don’t get it! You’re so good, Haz. You’re better than all of them! Why didn’t you get through?” Louis grabbed irritably at his hair, and Harry grasped at Louis’ hands in an effort to stop them.

“And what about you? You’re good too.” Harry replied, his voice wet with tears. “Why didn’t you get through, riddle me this, huh?”

“It’s not a bloody mystery Harry!” Louis wiped his nose with his sleeve, which was difficult considering Harry was holding onto his hands. “Did you forget I can’t fucking see? Have you forgotten that I have a _major_ disability that would never in a million years let me live the life of a popstar?” Louis hung his head and said quietly, “What was I thinking, coming out here, thinking I’d actually _make_ something of myself-“

“Hey,” Harry hooked his fingers. “If that’s the only reason they didn’t let you through then fuck them.” His vision was getting blurry with tears, but he held Louis’ hands closer to his heart. “Just promise me that when we go home tonight you won’t forget about-“

“Excuse me! Excuse me!” Harry looked up and saw one of the X factor producers making standing high above the crowd. “If I can have your attention please,” Harry and Louis got up from their crouched position on the floor, and Harry led Louis to the now forming crowd. “If you hear your name called, I want you to come and stand with me.”

“What’s going on?” Louis whispered.

“I don’t know.” Harry replied.

“Zayn Malik.” Was the first name the guy said, and a small boy elbowed his way through the crowd and stood next to the producer. “Harry Styles.”

Harry froze. That was – that’s him. “Go,” Louis said to him. “He called your name.”

“I can’t leave you, I-“

“Go, Harry. Don’t keep them waiting.” Louis poked Harry in the back and Harry’s face drained of color as he walked forward to join Zayn. He stared at Louis as he stood there hoping, praying, that they would call his name too.

“Sophia Wardman.” A colorfully dressed girl joined the boys and the producer. “Liam Payne, Rebecca Creighton,” The names went on and more people joined Harry where he standing.

He kept his eyes on Louis.

“Niall Horan, and Louis Tomlinson.” Harry was the first one to scream.

“Louis!” He surged forward and wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck. “You did it! We did it! I don’t know what we did, but we did it!”

“Now, ladies and gentlemen if I just called your name I would like you to please follow me.”

“I’m scared,” Louis said as he and Harry walked in the direction the producer was going. “What did we do? What’s happening?”

“I don’t know, but we’re not going home, so it must be something good.”

“’M so glad you’re here with me Haz.” Louis mumbled.

“And what could I ever do without you, my dear Lou.”

They walked up to stage and the producer split boys on one side, girls on another.

Harry was in between Liam and Louis, and next to Louis were Niall, and then Zayn. Harry wrapped his arm around Louis’ waist as they faced the judges, and all Harry could feel was Louis’ hand rested on the small of his back.

Harry could hear the whispers of ‘oh my god’ and ‘what’s happening’ coming from the boys on either side of him, but they remained unanswered as the Judges just stared at them.

It was Nicole who finally spoke. “Hello,” she said into a microphone, and a chorus of greetings followed. “Thank you so much for coming back, I know, judging from some of your faces that this is really hard. We thought long and hard about it, we thought of each of you as individuals, and we feel just that you’re too talented to let go of.”

Harry looked around and saw the masks of confusion on the rest of the boys faces. His hand squeezed Louis’ hip. Louis traced patters on Harry’s back.

“We think it would be a great idea, to have two separate groups,”

Simons voice came next. “We’ve decided to put you both through.”

The cheers erupted, and Harry turned to Louis. “Oh my god, Lou we got through-“

A heavy weight was suddenly in Harry’s arms, and legs were wrapped around his waist. It took him a moment to realize that it was actually Louis.

_Louis._

Harry spun them around and grinned because _Louis_ jumped in his arms and _Louis_ trusted Harry enough to catch him when he couldn’t even see if it was Harry anymore beside him but he _knew_. He _knew_ it was Harry and that Harry wouldn’t leave his side and Harry was jumping and twirling them around because Louis had taken a leap, both figuratively and literally, into Harry’s always awaiting arms.

And to Harry, that was the best thing that had happened to him all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hello hi so i have decided to give you guys some control in this story, because i know that when I read a fic i picture all these cute scenes happening later in the fic and then they dont happen because me and writer have different minds, and i get disappointed
> 
> so what i want you guys to do is tell me if you have a cute scene or a smutty scene, or even a line you want someone to say, or maybe a song you want them to sing anYTHING. i want you to tell me, so i can write it in here at some point
> 
> my tumblr is larry-tale but if youre too lazy to go to my ask box (which is totally understand bc that would mean you have to open a new tab and shit and just no)(although you could follow me too ay *winkwinknudgenudge*) and you just want to leave a comment down whenever the comment section is thats fine too! (jfc i sound like a youtuber)
> 
> i just really think that you guys should get to do more than just read the story yaknow? so please, i beg of you, tell me what you want to happen and i WILL write it in ((Harrys step dads bungalow is going to be the next few chapters so if you have something you want to happen there, nows your chance)
> 
> by the way, if you ask me on tumblr, when i start writing the piece that you asked for, ill go back to you and give you an excerpt and ask if thats what you had in mind or if it isnt so i can fix it before i put it up
> 
> also i get literally no messages so it will definitely be seen
> 
> i just like to write okay
> 
> and please people
> 
> and i have anxiety 
> 
> so i cant do it in person
> 
> so this is my way of doing it here okay bye


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry for this chapter you guys
> 
> my moms moving out of the country so i just wanted to write some happy family fluff so i did
> 
> yay for bigbrother!louis

Harry’s Step-dad’s bungalow.

That’s where the 5 boys were headed off to spend the next week, before they went to Simons house.

The X factor had so kindly lent them a limo to get around in, and currently Harry, Zayn, Liam, and Niall were on their way to pick up Louis so they could _finally_ go to the bungalow.

As the vehicle slowly came to a stop, Harry looked out of his window and saw a beautiful white house with a front garden and a path leading from the doorway to the sidewalk. The sun is just beginning to set.

Harry hopped out of the limo and ushered the boys up to the front door where he politely knocked on the door.

A woman with a beaming smile opened the door. “Hello boys! I’m Jay,” She said brightly, shaking each one of the boys’ hands in turn. “You must be Harry.” Her smile got a bit more personal.

“Yeah,” Harry said. “That’s me. How’d you know?”

“Oh,” She scoffed. “Louis’ description of you was spot on. Tall, fit, curly hair. Although Lottie was the one to inform me you had green eyes.” She laughed.

Harry blushed and ducked his head. _Fit._ “Where’s Louis?”

“He should be around here somewhere. Come in! All of you! Have a look around, I’ll take Louis’ bags to the car.”

The boys smiled courteously and began walking into the living room of the house. Jay grabbed a suitcase and carried it out the door.

Harry looked at some of the pictures on the wall. There were a lot of Louis when he was younger with his sisters and what looked like a guide dog.

“Harry!” Harry turned and saw Lottie standing in the doorway of the kitchen holding a device that looked sort of like a typewriter.

Whatever it was, she put it down on the ground and ran over to give Harry a hug. “It’s good to see you again.” She said. “Louis is outside with the girls and Stan.” She turned to the other boys. They stood staring at each other. “Well, don’t just stand there, I want a hug from all of you too.”

She walked over and enveloped them all in a huge group hug. Everybody laughed. “I think you all will be good company for my Louis.” She said, although it was muffled by Niall’s chest.

Niall laughs and the four of them become quickly engrossed in conversation, and Harry begins to wander through out the house to find the way outside.

He does quickly enough, big French doors in the kitchen leading to a small back porch. He rests his arms on the guardrail and smiles.

Louis is in the backyard with his hands stretched out in front of him. “Marco.” He calls.

“Polo.” A little voice says back, and Harry sees a little blonde girl standing about fifteen feet to the side of Louis, next to a shed.

“Mar – this game is stupid.” Louis groans, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t even you know if you guys are covering your eyes or not. You could be cheating for all I know!”

“Were not cheating Boo Bear.” Another identical blonde girl says and _oh_ Harry thinks, _she is_ so _cheating._

“Yeah Lou,” A teenage boy emerges from behind a tree with a brown haired girl trailing behind him.

Harry decides he must be Stan.

“We have our eyes closed.” He walks behind Louis, and gestures for the other girls to come join him.

“I can hear you, you know!” Louis shouts. “I can hear you walking! I know you’re somewhere behind me.”

He’s about to turn around, but before he does Stan yells: “Attack!” And Louis screams as everyone comes flying at him.

The little ones attack his legs, while Stan and the brown haired girl leap up for his shoulders.

Louis falls forwards but twists so he’s on his back, and all the girls straddle is stomach while Stan stands above his head.

“We win.”

“Not fair!” He squirms. The girls and Stan laugh, and Harry chuckles.

“Oh be quiet you,” Stan says, kneeling down and bringing his face directly over Louis’. “You know you can never resist playing a game with us. Even if we do cheat.” He kisses Louis’ cheek.

“I hate you.” Louis declares. “I hate you all!” He reaches for the girl sitting on his chest and tickles her stomach. She slaps him in the arm.

“Mum!” she whines between breathless laughs. “Louis is tickling me!”

“Mum!” Louis mocks. “Daisy hit me!”

“Come on you little monsters, lets get him up.” Stan swoops down and picks up the first offender off Louis’ chest, and the other two get up on their own. They both grab one of Louis’ hands and help him to his feet. They soon let go afterwards.

Harry catches Stan’s eye, and the smile Harry didn’t even know was on his face falters a bit.

“Uh, mate?” Stan says turning to Louis, and suddenly everyone’s eyes are on him.

Well, not everybody’s. “Yeah?” Louis says, straightening up his shirt.

“There’s a bloke on your porch.”

Harry blushes and clears his throat. “It’s just me, Lou.” He says.

Louis grins and turns his body so he’s facing the porch. “Harry! You should’ve told me you were there, you could’ve played Marco Polo and kept these buggers from cheating.”

“We didn’t cheat!” Stan lied.

“Whatever you say,” Louis sang out. “But next time you’re all wearing blindfolds.”

Stan puts the little girl on his other hip, and slings his now free arm over Louis’ shoulder. “But if we wear blindfolds how will we be able to tackle you? It’s the whole fun of the game!”

“Oh piss off.” Louis laughs as he ducks under Stan’s arm. “Now who wants to help me descend the staircase of doom?”

“Louis there are only three steps.” The brown haired girl replied.

“Three steps of _doom.”_

“Fine.” The brown haired girl grabs Louis’ hand and begins to lead him up to where Harry is, the rest of the girls – and Stan – following. When they reach the porch Harry opens the door for them. He’s the last one inside.

The brown haired girl let go of Louis’ hand, and Louis began walking around the house like it was no trouble at all.

Stan noticed Harrys confusion and says, “Louis’ been living here since he was three, he knows this house inside and out.”

“Oh.” Harry nods. “Makes sense.”

Stan hums and walks into the living room, putting the little girl down.

Harry claps his hands together. “So,” he announces. “Are we ready to go?” Niall, Liam and Zayn get up from where they were sitting on the couch talking to Lottie, with small notes of confirmation.

Jay walks back in front outside, and Harry notice the typewriter-like device is now gone from where Lottie left it.

“Leaving?” She says as she closes the door.

“Yeah,” Harry replies. “We have to leave now if we want to make it there before midnight.”

Jay nods and approaches her son, wrapping him up in a hug, which he returns. “I’ll miss you Boo Bear.” She says into his neck. Suddenly, the brown haired girl and the two identical blonde girls go over as well.

Jay pulls back from the hug and Louis squats, making it easier for him to hug his sisters. “I love you Louis.” One of them says, beginning a chorus of ‘I love you’s coming from the tangled mess of bodies.

Harry hears Louis’ laugh, and he tells them to get off him now, that they really should be going.

Right as he stands up, Lottie and Stan go over to him. “I’ll miss you Louis.” She smiles. She doesn’t hug him, just stands in front of him.

He smiles. “I’ll miss you too Lottie. I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay.” She looks over at Stan.

Stan goes straight in for the hug. “If someone had told us, when we were five years old, that you, Louis Tomlinson, would be getting into the Judges House for the X factor, I’d say they were crazy. But it’s happening, we’re here, you’re going, and I have never been so proud of you. I remember how nervous you were for the first audition, you were squeezing me so tight I thought you’d definitely burst at least one of my vital organs.” He laughs.

“I just want you to remember, when you’re out there singing for huge crowds and staying in fancy hotel rooms, I want you to remember me, remember us. Remember the time we went to the park for that field trip, and an ant crawled in your food so I yelled for you to put it down because you didn’t know it was there. Remember the time you asked out that girl you liked, and she said ‘no sorry, I want someone who can appreciate real beauty’ like the stuck up twat she was, and how we cried and got drunk together for the first time. Remember that time I made you the lead singer of the old band he had, _The Rouge,_ when we were younger.” He rubbed his hands up Louis’ back, and thread his fingers through Louis’ hair. “I want you to remember, because I can’t forget.

“You’re so amazing Louis, you’re so beautiful and talented and I know that you’ll have these four boys to tell you that everyday, so you better believe it.” He kissed Louis’ forehead. “I love you Lou, and I know there are a bunch of people in front of us right now, but I’m not letting you leave until you say it back.”

Louis smiles a bit, and laughs. “I love you too, you big sap.” They hugged once more, and Stan pulls away, turning Louis to face Harry.

“I give you my blessing,” Stan joked, shoving Louis forward into Harry. Harry took Louis’ hand and began walking out towards the door.

“Oh! Wait!” Lottie scrambled up to them, making everyone halt their movements. She placed a folded piece of paper in Louis’ free hand. “I almost forgot.” She patted the note with a sense of security. “That’s for you Louis.”

“Thanks Lottie.” Louis smiled. “Bye everyone!” He chirped, and a chorus of farewells erupted.

By the time the two had made it to the limo, Liam, Zayn, and Niall were already buckled in and ready to go.

“You know,” Louis said, strapping himself into the car between Liam and Harry. “I’ve never really got over the fact that car rides, feel like rollercoasters.” The boys laughed. “Small rollercoasters, but still rollercoasters.”

“You’re family's nice Lou,” Niall said. “I like ‘em.”

“Yeah me too,” Zayn agreed. “Lottie’s a riot.”

Louis smiled. “Yeah, she is.”

Liam wrapped his arms around Louis’ shoulders. “So what do you say, Lou? Are you ready for a week of bonding with us crazy lads?”

Louis smiled. “If I can handle my sisters, I should have no problem handling you lot.”

The boys laughed and Louis leaned into Liam’s touch.

He exhaled through his nose. _Maybe it will be fine._ He thought. _Maybe everything will go fine._

He twirled the note around in his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everything I said in chapter 4 still applies, if you picture something happening or want something to happen tell me and ill make it happen
> 
> also the other day i was running down the hall at my school and tripped and yelled "FUCK" really loudly and i got in trouble hope that made your day better


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you follow me on tumblr you would know that i accidentally emailed my teacher some larry smut instead of my essay, thus ruining my life
> 
> and if you didnt know that, well you do now
> 
> i hope that makes your day better

A half hour away from the Bungalow, Harry and Niall were the only ones left awake. Louis’ head had somehow ended up in Harry’s lap, Liam was leaning against the window, and so was Zayn.

Harry was looking down at Louis’ sleeping form while combing a hand though Louis’ fringe. He heard a chuckle and looked up to see Niall grinning across from him.

“What’s got you smiling?” Harry said, lightly kicking him in the shin.

“You’ve so got a thing for him Harry, it’s ridiculous.”

“No I don’t.” Harry muttered, blushing. He paused his movements. “Wait, you wouldn’t mind – if I – hypothetically speaking of course –“ He cleared his throat, “- did?” 

Niall shook his head, a smile still on his face. “I like to see people happy Harry, and I think that’s something you haven’t learned about me yet.”

The corner of Harry’s lips twitched up as he brought his attention back to Louis. “You seem really cool, you know that?”

“I do know that,” Niall replied, the joking tone back in his voice. “I am also _excellent_ at reading peoples feelings.” He leaned over and poked Harry’s side. “Just admit it Styles.”

Harry laughed and tried not to jostle Louis as he swatted Niall’s hand away. “Stop, stop.” He chuckled. “You’ll wake him up.”

“Now riddle me this,” Niall said, leaning forward a bit. “Do you not want me to wake him up because he ‘ _needs his sleep’_ ,” the bastard even did air quotes. “or, because his head is on your lap.”

Harry was silent.

His hand continued to flow across Louis’ forehead.

“The only thing you’re good for is making me feel guilty.” Harry mumbled.

Niall burst out laughing, and Harry shushed him quickly. “You’re just too obvious, Haz.”

“It doesn’t even matter.” Harry shrugged. “I’m like, 97% sure that he’s dating Stan.”

Niall scoffed. “What are you on about?”

“You know…” Harry took his hand out of Louis’ hair and gestured around wildly.

“Sorry mate,” Niall said. “I don’t know what –“ he mimicked Harry’s previous movements, ‘- means.”

“I – they just seemed really –“

“Harry, Harry listen to me.” Harry looked up and Niall met his eyes. “You can be close to someone, without dating them.”

“I know – but –“

“No buts,”

Harry groaned and tipped his head backwards. “You sound like my Mum.”

"If you’re so concerned, just ask him about it, mate.”

Harry didn’t reply. Louis started to stir.

Harry looked back down at Louis as he started rolling his shoulders a bit. He clenched his eyes shut before opening them all the way. He stopped moving then, nobody said anything.

Harry’s hand began moving in Louis’ hair once again, and Harry watched familiar comfort flood his face. “Haz,” he croaked sleepily.

Harry smiled. “Hey Lou. How’re you feeling?”

Louis made a sound of relaxation, turned his head and began nosing at Harry’s stomach. “’M tired and you’re warm.”

Harry chuckled. “You’re so cute,” Harry cooed. “You remind me of a kitten.”

“Shut up, I do not.” The warmth of Louis’ breath was felt right below Harry’s navel, and traveled through Harry’s whole body.

“We’re almost there anyway, you can sleep properly then.”

“Thank god, your belt buckle is penetrating my forehead.” Louis snuggled more into Harry’s stomach and wrapped his arms loosely around Harry’s waist.

Harry just grinned down at him.

-

When they finally arrived at the Bungalow, the driver came by and opened the door for them. “We’re here, gentleman.” He said.

Niall and Harry shook everyone awake, and Liam, Zayn, and Louis groggily followed a slightly cheerier Harry and Niall.

There was a separate little house that was really nothing more than a room with some sofas and wicker chairs that was used to put the pool supplies in - Harry preferred to call it the sunroom - and then there was the main house.

Harry held Louis’ hand and led all five boys into the main house while the limo driver dropped off their bags.

“There are three bedrooms,” Harry said while opening the front door and bringing Louis in first, followed by the rest of the boys. “Two of the rooms have bunk beds, and one has just a king sized bed.” Harry waited until all the boys had an appropriate amount of time to soak in the surroundings.

Louis felt the wall closest to him.

“Now,” Harry said. “I’ll share a room with –“

“Nonsense!” Liam interrupted. “It’s your house, you should get the king bed for yourself. I’ll sleep in a room with Louis, and Zayn and Niall can get the other one.” Liam smiled.

Harry cheeks were red with frustration because _he_ wanted to share a room with Louis but he didn’t really have a good reason as to _why,_ and Liam actually made a very valid point.

So, he squeezed Louis’ hand and said, “Yeah. That sounds fine.” Niall sent him a sympathetic look as he and Zayn picked up their suitcases, which had been left near the front door.

“Lead the way, Harry.” Niall said.

“Wait,” a small, timid voice said, and everyone turned to Louis. “Can someone – I can’t see where my bag is – I –“

“I’ll get it for you,” Liam said as he picked up his own bag and then stared at the two remaining ones.

“It’s that one.” Harry pointed to a blue duffle bag.

“Oh, thanks.” Liam replied as he grabbed the bag and held gave it to Louis.

“T-thanks.” Louis muttered. He was red as a tomato.

“Lou,” Harry said. “You know you can ask any of us for help, it’s alright.”

“Yeah Louis.” Zayn spoke up. “Anything you need, we’ll get it for you. We’re friends now.”

Louis smiled. “Thanks boys.” Harry brought Louis in for a hug, and suddenly everyone’s arms were wrapped around Louis’ tiny frame.

Harry eventually showed everyone to their rooms, and settled down into the king sized mattress alone.

-

Louis had no idea what time it was when he woke up. He didn’t know if Liam was still in the bunk above him or not, and he definitely didn’t want to wake him up if he was still sleeping.

He rolled over slightly, trying to reach his phone that was on the bedside table. He slowly reached his hand over until he hit the side of the table, and then moved his hand up so it was flat on the top of the surface.

He began moving his hand around faster until he hit what seemed like a picture frame, sending it to the ground.

Lucky, the floor was carpet, but the muttered “shit” from the below him made Liam perk up from the game of Angry Birds he was playing.

“Louis?” He said, leaning his head down and watched as Louis sat up a little bit, cautious as to not hit his head.

“Liam? I’m so sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Don’t worry, you didn’t. I’ve been up for a while now.”

“You could’ve gone to eat breakfast you know, you didn’t have to stay here.”

“It’s fine, Louis. I wanted to wait for you.”

“Thanks.” Louis smiled and moved as he heard Liam drop down to the floor. “What time is it?”

“About 11:30, the boys are all eating breakfast. Want to go join ‘em?”

“Yeah.” Louis smiled. “That sounds great.” He slowly kneeled on the ground and felt around for his walking stick, which was nowhere in his range.

“Here,” Liam said, gripping Louis’ hands and making him stand up. “I’m going to bend down in front of you, and you just jump on my back okay.”

"You sure?”

“Positive, I can be like, your trusty steed.” Louis laughed and Liam smiled.

Liam bent down in front of Louis and reached back and grabbed at Louis’ hands, placing them on his back. “You can jump now.”

Louis did as he was told, and jumped right onto Liam’s back. They both laughed as Liam grabbed the back of Louis’ thighs, hoisting him up farther.

“Onwards!” Louis exclaimed, and Liam laughed louder as he began to jog out of their bedroom.

-

Harry was making breakfast when he heard laugher echoing down the hallway. He looked to where Zayn and Niall were eating their pancakes with a curious look on his face.  

Suddenly, a giddy Liam ran into the kitchen with a hysterical Louis on his back. Niall and Zayn laughed.

Harry didn’t.

“We have arrived, my fair knight.” Liam removed his hands from Louis’ thighs and let Louis slide off his back until his feet touched the floor.

“Good morning lads!” Louis cheered happily.

“Good morning!” Zayn and Niall echoed back.

"Is Hazza here?” Louis asked.

Harry cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah I’m here – just making breakfast.”

“You don’t sound too happy Harry.” Louis pouted. “Come here.” Louis opened his arms and Harry turned down the stove to step into them, wrapping Louis up in a hug.

“You smell good.”

Harry laughed. “Probably smell like pancake batter.”

“Mm,” Louis sniffed him again. “I love pancakes.”

“Well you’re in luck Mr. Tomlinson because I just so happen to have made some.”

Louis placed a hand over his chest and sighed. “A man after my own heart.”

Harry laughed and went to go plate the pancakes for both Liam and Louis.

He ignored Niall’s wink.

Liam helped Louis find the table, and they both sat across from Niall and Zayn. All the boys made small talk as Harry handed out the last of the pancakes, before sitting down at the head of the table and finally eating his own breakfast, rubbing his palm comfortingly up and down Louis’ thigh.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for liams cockblock-ness
> 
> ((everything i said at the bottom of chapter 4 still applies))


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry i couldnt update last weekend guys i was kind of going through some personal stuff and ugh it was just a mess
> 
> anyway, i had a dream that me and Alex Gaskarth sacrificed Eleanor idk man
> 
> BUT OMFG I FELT SO GUILTY ABOUT THE WEEK LATE THING PLEASE DONT HATE ME

“Come on Lou! Come in the pool!” Harry called from the water, laughing as Niall slapped a beach ball at him.

The boys had decided to go swimming, and at the moment Niall, Harry, and Liam were all enjoying their time in the pool while Louis and Zayn were lounging out on some deck chairs.

“I don’t know Harry, I haven’t gone swimming in a while. Or ever, for that matter.”

Niall gawked. “You’ve _never_ gone swimming?”

 _“Ever?”_ Liam added incredulously.

“Why not?” Harry asked, slowly stepping out of the water.

“Well, we never had a pool growing up,” Louis started, feeling oddly self-conscious. “And I really hate the ocean because I can’t see what’s floating around in the water and whatnot – same thing with lakes and rivers. And by the time everyone was having pool parties, I still didn’t know how to swim so I just declined any offers I got.” Louis half shrugged. “It was just easier that way.”

“Aw Lou,” Harry cooed, “I’ll teach you how to swim.”

“I don’t know how to swim either, me and Lou can just chill here and tan or summat.” Zayn interrupted.

“Or,” Liam said from the stairway of the pool. “Harry can teach Louis how to swim, and I can teach you?” He was blushing furiously, and stood nervously on the other end of the swimming pool.

“I like that idea!” Harry said. “Come on you two, get off your lazy arses, you’re learning how to swim today if it kills us!”

“And it just might,” Louis grumbled as he slowly got up off the deck chair and stretched. “Where are you Harry?” He gestured towards himself, “Come to me.”

Harry smiled and walked forward, gripping Louis hands and bringing them to his chest. “We’re going in the shallow end first, alright?”

Louis scoffed. “Well thank god for that because I was expecting you would just throw me right in the deep end and let me drown.”

Harry rolled his eyes and threw an arm carefully around Louis’ shoulders and led him to the steps of the pool, Liam and Zayn following close behind.

Louis placed his foot on first step and the cool water immediately sent chills up his spine. Harry carefully led him down until they were both about waist deep in the water.

“You good?” Harry asked.

“What does the water look like?” Louis asked instead of answering.

“Well,” Harry started, “the waters clear, so I can see right down to the bottom of the pool.”

“Clear?” Louis echoed. “That means it has no color, right?”

“Yeah basically.”

“That’s… I thought everything had to have color?”

“Ah,” Harry struggled to think of something to say. “Let’s just swim, yeah?”

Louis slightly shook his head. “Yeah, yeah, so what do I do?”

“First we have to talk about safety –“

Louis groaned.

“- if you feel like you’re about to drown do not panic, it only makes things worse. Just stay calm no matter what, okay?”

Louis nodded, and Harry continued. “Now we have to cover arm movements, so if you just –“ Harry moved behind Louis and pressed his chest flush against Louis’ back. He then slid his hands down Louis’ arms and placed his hands on top of Louis’. He smiled slightly at the goose bumps that arose on Louis’ skin. “Move them like this.” Harry began to move Louis’ arms in wave-like motion.

Harry caught Niall’s wink from the other side of the pool and blushed. He soon let go of Louis.

“Can you do it by yourself?” Harry asked, stepping in front of Louis.

“Like this, right?”

“Yeah!” Harry exclaimed. “Yeah just like that! Alright now come over here,” Louis followed the sound of Harry’s voice and reached out for his hand.

Harry guided Louis to the side of the pool and placed his hands on the rim.

“Pick your feet up and I’ll help you with your kicking.”

Louis carefully lifted his feet up off the ground, and Harry could tell that Louis was using all of his upper body strength to stay above the water.

Harry grabbed one of Louis’ calves, and then set his other hand on the back of Louis’ thighs.

“So you’re going to kind of bend your knee, and then thrust your foot outwards, and do that really fast.

Louis did exactly that, but it looked a little – wonky.

“That doesn’t feel right.” Louis commented.

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “It doesn’t really look right either.” He looked around and when he saw that Liam was moving his legs and Zayn was _watching_ him and learning it that way he frowned.

“How would you move your legs if you wanted to stay afloat?”

“Uh,” Louis forehead was resting against a folded arm, and he picked both of his feet up once again and started moving them fluidly, calmly. “Kind of like that?”

“I think you just taught yourself better than I could’ve ever taught you.” Harry chuckled.

Louis laughed and stood up once again. “Alright Haz I think I’m ready for the Big Leagues – take me to the middle of the shallow end, I wanna give this a shot.”

Harry smiled and brought Louis into an appropriately shallow area. “You sure about this?” Harry knelt down in the water, so his chin was just touching the surface.

“As sure as I’ll ever be.” Louis started to tread the water carefully, before flopping on his stomach and doing the movements just like Harry showed him.

“You’re doing it!” Harry cheered, standing up. “You’re swimming!”

“Yay!” Louis laughed, “I’m kind of scared to move though,” He said as he stood up, placing his hands on Harry’s shoulders. “But why would I need to swim around when I can just do this?” Suddenly, Louis jumped on Harry’s back, hooking his ankles around Harry’s waist. Harry’s hands immediately found their place on the back on Louis’ thighs, and both the boys laughed as Harry began parading them around the shallow end of the pool.

“I didn’t really need to learn how to swim anyway.”

-

Louis was super clingy that night. And not just to him, Harry noticed, but to everyone.

All five boys were sitting around the campfire, talking and drinking beer, and Louis was absolutely _glued_ to Harry’s side in the grass.

At one point Harry went to piss, and when he came back Liam’s arm was set firmly around Louis’ shoulders.

Harry sat down across from them and watched Louis. He noticed that whenever Liam leaned forward, Louis would hold on tighter to Liam’s shirt, and whenever Liam leaned backwards, Louis would try to duck behind him.

“Lou what’s wrong?” Harry asked suddenly, quieting the other boys.

Louis immediately blushed. “I – nothings wrong –“

“Seriously Lou, if something’s wrong, tell us. We wont be mad.”

“It’s just – I don’t really _like_ fire.”

“What do you mean?” Liam asked, hugging Louis closer to his body.

“I mean, I know what it is - on a small scale, but I can’t see it. I don’t know where it is, I don’t know how far the flames are spreading, and if it gets out of hand I can’t run away from it.”

All the boys were silent. It had never even crossed their minds how some things might scare Louis, or make Louis feel uncomfortable.

“Aw Lou I’m sorry.” Liam said. “I didn’t even realize –“

“None of us did.” Harry interrupted. “We’re sorry Louis we should really be more –“

“No it’s okay.” Louis smiled slightly. “Just – just keep me away from it, yeah?”

“Of course,” Zayn said as he scooted closer to Louis. “We’ll all look out for you.”

“And not just for fire either,” Niall said firmly. “We’re all there for you, we’re all there for each other. We’re a band now, we’re practically family.”

“And even if we don’t make it far in the X factor, we’ll still stay a band.” Harry said. “I’m sure of it.”

“Until the end?” Louis asked as he stuck out pinky with a small smile playing on his lips.

“Until the end.” All five boys repeated as they childishly hooked pinkies, laughing as they did so.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Louis asked nobody in particular.

“What?” Liam asked.

“That Vanessa Carlton [song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSBqmu4B8Dg).”

“Sing it.” Harry said.

“Why?”

“Because I love it when you sing.”

Louis flushed, but cleared his throat. “It’s starts off like,

_“Crashed on the floor when I moved in,_

_“This little bungalow with some strange new friends,_

_“Stay up too late, and I’m too thin,_

_“We promise each other it’s ‘til the end,_

_“Now we’re spinning empty bottles it’s the five of us,_

_“With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust,_

_“I can’t resist the day, no I can’t resist the day,”_

Liam stood up, taking Louis with him, and Liam joined Louis for the next verse, changing the lyrics to make Louis laugh.

_“Louis screams out and it’s no pose,_

_“’Cause when he dances, he goes and goes,”_ Liam lifted his and Louis’ joined hands above his head and twirled Louis around.

_“Beer through the nose on an inside joke,_

_“And I’m so excited, I haven’t spoken,_

_“And he’s so pretty and he’s so sure,_

_“Maybe I’m more clever than a boy like him,”_ Niall is next to stand up, and he grabs his guitar and starts playing chords that mix perfectly with the boys’ voices.

_“Summer’s all in boom, summer’s ending soon,_

_“It’s alright, and it’s nice not to be so alone,_

_“But I hold onto your secrets in white houses,”_ Harry and Zayn stand up finally, feeling a little awkward being left sitting on the ground. Liam passes a giddy Louis to Harry while he himself goes off with Zayn. The four of them are there, horribly re-enacting a waltz, while Niall plays the guitar.

 _“Maybe I’m a little bit over my head,”_ Liam and Louis are still the only ones singing, but Harry smiles as Louis’ hands make there way to Harry’s hair, watching Louis’ grin growing wider as he recognizes the curls.

_“I come undone at the things he said,_

_“And he’s so funny in his bright red shirt,_

_“We were all in love, and we all got hurt,_

_“I sneak into his car’s cracked leather seat,_

_“The small of gasoline in the summer heat,_

_“Boy we’re going way to fast,_

_“It’s all too sweet to last,_

_“It’s alright, and I put myself in his hands,_

_“But I hold onto your secrets in white houses,”_ Harry spins Louis around, much like Liam had done earlier, and tries his best to sing along to the song.

_“Love, or something ignites in my veins,_

_“And I pray it never fades in white houses,”_

Liam stopped singing, and Louis buried his face in Harry’s neck.

_“Maybe you were all faster than me,_

_“We gave each other up so easily,_

_“These silly little wounds will never mend,_

_“I feel so far from where I’ve been,_

_“So I go, and I will not be back here again,_

_“I’m gone as the day is fading on white houses,_

_“I lied, wrote my injuries all in the dust,_

_“In my heart it’s the five of us,_

_“In white houses, in white houses.”_

Niall strummed the guitar for the final time and all the boys were quiet. Liam was smiling as his arms wrapped around Zayn, and Harry and Louis were much of the same.

“What I said before was bullshit.” Harry smiled. “We’re going to win this competition.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i could in no way resist putting Ziam in here somewhERE 
> 
> the swimming scene was requested by my good friend Melissa (i love you Melissa) 
> 
> and as it will be at the bottom of every chapter,
> 
> ((everything i said at the bottom of chapter 4 still applies))


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lets just pretend i updated this on time (sorry omg) 
> 
> unedited (sorry again) 
> 
> i love you guys thanks for not beating me with a stick for updating late

The fire had begun dwindling down, and was now nothing more than some embers sitting in a pile of charcoal. Harry and Louis were still sitting on the ground, Harry’s head resting on Louis’ chest, and Louis’ head resting on his own folded arms.

Zayn and Liam were in much of the same position, and Niall was lying on his stomach, poking a beer can with a stick.

“What’s it like bing blind?” Niall asked.

“What’s it like not being blind?” Louis responded without opening his eyes. “What’s it like have brown hair? What’s it like have blonde hair? What’s it like having siblings? What’s it like not having siblings?” Louis shrugged. Harry was the only one to feel it. “Being blind is my normal, I don’t know anything other than being blind. I’m just kind of… I’m used to it.”

“What’s the best thing about being blind?” Harry asked.

Louis hummed. “Every girl I’ve ever been with is a _ten.”_ It was silent for a moment before all the boys burst out laughing.

“But what do you see?” Liam asked once everyone had calmed down a bit.

Louis chuckled. “Beats me, mate.”

“You must see black.” Niall said.

“Well… not necessarily.” Louis replied. “Because you’d have to see it to know what black is, right? When _you_ guys can’t see anything that’s what _you_ see, but for me it’s not like that.” Louis tone was light and practiced, as if he’d said this a million times. Which everyone figured was probably true. “Close both eyes,” Louis began again, “and you see black. Close one eye, that eye sees nothing.”

All four boys did what Louis said, and they found it was true. They sat there in silence, trying as hard as they could to see through their closed eye.

“That’s so weird.” Zayn breathed.

"Holy shit.” Niall said. “That’s awesome!”

“You, Louis,” Harry began, looking up at Louis and poking him in the cheek, “just blew me.” He paused, smiling when Louis blushed. “Mind-wise.”

“Twat.” Louis grumbled.

“I’m your favorite twat.” Harry grinned.

Louis scoffed. “I’m sorry Hazza but I have a whole _line_ of twats that I love _much_ more than you.”

“Lying doesn’t look good on you, Lou.”

“Everything looks good on me-”

“Oh would you two lovebirds just shut up.” Niall said, throwing an empty beer can at them.

“Oi!” Harry shouted. “No need to get violent!”

“Well I’m tired and you guys are annoying.” Niall smiled as he threw another beer can at them.

“Go to bed if you’re so tired!” Harry laughed, trying to deflect the beer can from hitting Louis in the face.

“I take orders from no one!” Niall declared loudly before yawning and stretching his arms over his head. “Alright well, I’m going to bed.”

“Oh - _what!”_ Harrys shouted incredulously, making all the boys laugh.

Zayn stood up and said, “I think I might join you Niall. I’m knackered.”

“Stay out with me?” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear.

“You coming to bed Lou?” A now standing Liam asked.

“Nah,” Louis shook his head. “I think I’ll just stay here.”

“You sure?” Liam asked.

“Positive Li,” Louis smiled, “go to sleep.”

Liam nodded and followed Zayn and Niall back inside after they had all exchanged various accords of ‘goodnight’.

Harry’s head was still on Louis’ chest and he titled his face upwards so his mouth was just on the underside of Louis’ jaw.

“Hey, Louis.”

Louis’ hands found their way into Harry’s hair. “Hello, Harry.”

“So what _is_ the best thing about being blind?”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked. “I just answered that.”

“Oh come on Louis. You expect me to believe that you’re favorite thing about being blind is that _‘everyone girl you’ve ever been with is a ten’_?”

“I never have to worry about drinking and driving.” Louis shrugged.

Harry sat up and threw his leg over Louis’ hips, straddling him.

He then slapped Louis across the face.

“Ow!” Louis cried. “You are a _violent_ little boy.”

“I wouldn’t _have_ to be violent if you actually answered my question.”

“Fine, fine.” Louis closed his eyes, and tilted his head to one side. “I guess, one of the better things about being blind is that there’s no race, I don’t know from beauty, I know people from what comes out of their mouth, and what’s in their heart. It’s really nice that way.” Both boys were silent for a second, and then Louis added. “Plus my hearing is so much better than everyone else’s – “ Harry slapped him again.

“Is it weird though?”

“Is what weird?”

“Not knowing races, not knowing beauty.”

“People are beautiful to me Harry, it’s just that my beautiful, and your beautiful, are two different things. You could be the ugliest person in the word look-wise, Harry, and I would still think you’re breathtaking.”

“You really mean that? I could be some four-eyed monster with tentacles for fingers and you’d still love me?”

Louis nodded. “Now me on the other hand, people can see me, people judge me based on what I look like, and I guess not fully knowing what that is, it’s a little unsettling at times. I mean, I know I have blue eyes, but what’s blue? And what do eyes even look like? I know I have brown hair, but what’s brown? And what does my hair look like?”

“I can assure you Louis, that every single part of you beautiful.”

“What would I do without you, Harry?” Louis smiled, reaching up for Harry to grab his hand.

“You’d walk into things, that’s for sure.”

Louis removed his hand from Harry’s to instead smack Harry in the chest. “Who’s joking now?”

Harry and Louis laughed at each other for a while, and suddenly Harry bent down to place a kiss on the tip of Louis’ nose.  “Open your eyes, Louis.”

Louis did as asked, and Harry smiled. “You have such pretty eyes, Lou. Best I’ve ever seen.”

“‘Shame they don’t work, huh?”

“Don’t talk like that,” Harry frowned. He placed a kiss to each one of Louis now closed eyelids. “I,” kiss, “love,” kiss, “you,” kiss, “and,” kiss, “your,” kiss, “eyes.” He placed the final kiss right on Louis’ forehead. “You hear me?” Harry asked.

Louis was flushed to the tip of his ears and nodded. “I love you too Haz.”

“Good.” Harry smiled, getting off of Louis. “Now let’s go to bed, eh?” He reached down and helped Louis to his feet. “You’re sleeping with me tonight.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that chapter was literally all dialogue oops
> 
> if i ever dont post right away and you guys are wondering why feel free to just ask me ill answer you bc i swear to god i have a legitimate reason okay im not just being lazy 
> 
> and heres your weekly installment of
> 
> ((everything i said at the bottom of chapter 4 still applies)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so in light of recent events i think i might just began updating regularly on sunday bc im always late
> 
> but this time i dont even have a good reason i meant to work on it friday night like i usually do and have it up saturday morning but i started playing sims at like 2 in the afternoon and the next time i really looked at the clock is was fivE IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND I JUSt had to kind of re-evaluate my life 
> 
> i wish i was kidding

Harry awoke to a whimper. At first he just buried his head further into the pillow while praying that whoever it was would just shut up, since it was only around 3 in the morning.

But when something smacked him in the arm all of his irritation vanished as he quickly realized that the only other person in the room was Louis.

_Louis._

Harry shot upwards, turned on the light next to his bed and looked over at Louis.

Louis was tangled up in the sheets, struggling. His eyes were squeezed shut but there were tears all over his face, they were probably smothered all across his cheek from his head moving side to side against the bed. He was paler than usual.

He wasn’t saying anything, but little mewls and sobs kept falling from his lips.

Harry placed his hands on Louis bicep’s trying to still him.

“Louis,” He said. “Louis come on get up. Please get up.” He shook Louis carefully, trying not to jostle him too much incase he lashed out or something.

Harry removed one hand and ran it through Louis’ hair instead. “Lou,” He said, a little louder this time. “Louis please you need to get up.” Harry slapped his arm harder before slapping his chest.

Louis’ eyes flew open and he immediately sobbed, a wail being torn out of his throat as more tears fell onto the sheets. He was shaking now, and Harry called out, “Louis? Louis, what’s wrong? Please tell me what’s wrong. “

“It’s so dark – Haz it’s so –“ He got cut off by another sob, and Harry cradled Louis’ head into his chest.

“It’s okay Lou, it’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” Louis cried. “It’s still dark! It’s always dark!” He placed his hands on Harry’s chest and pushed away and tried as best he could to look Harry in the face. “You don’t _get_ it. It’s always been dark, it’s nothing but _dark._ I’m – I –“

“Shhh, shh,” Harry pulled Louis back into his chest and was happy when Louis chose not to fight it. He ran a hand through his hair and rocked him back and forth. “Was it a bad dream?” He asked quietly.

He could feel Louis nod against his chest.

“What happened?”

Louis sniffled and wiped his face with the back of his hand. “They were after me –“

“Who were after you?”

“I – I don’t – I don’t _know –_ I couldn’t –“ Louis grimaced and cried again out of frustration. “I couldn’t see them –“

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Harry says. “It doesn’t matter who they were. Keep going.”

“They were all around me – throwing their voices. I _hate_ when people do that! How am I supposed to know where they are if they don’t – It’s impossible! They kept going after me, poking me, and hitting me, and kicking me. But I couldn’t see them. Whenever I reached out, they weren’t there.”

“Why were they hitting you?”

Harry felt Louis tense in his arms, and he was quiet for a moment.

“Lou?” Harry asked again.

“I-“

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I – yeah, I know. But –“

“Please, Louis, why were they hitting you?”

“They just kept chanting – ‘kill the fag’ over and over again and Harry – I couldn’t stop them Harry.”

“Oh Lou,” Harry felt bad. For two reasons, actually. One reason obviously being the fact that Louis was a sobbing mess in his arms, and the next reason because he was _happy_ about it.

He would never wish pain on Louis, god no, but he just found out that Louis was gay, what could be better? Plus, he was comforting Louis, Louis trusted him. It was as if the heavens had open up and a sobbing, gay Louis had fallen right into his arms.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best analogy, but what can you do.

“Let’s just try to get some sleep, yeah?”

Louis nodded hesitantly and wiped his nose on the hem of his shirt.

Harry found it ridiculously endearing.

“You mean you’re not mad?” Louis’ voice cracked, and he sounded – _looked_ – so tiny that Harry couldn’t help the tilt of his head and the frown on his face.

“Why would I be mad?”

“B-because I’m… you know-“

“Gay?” Louis nodded, and Harry reached out to him. “I would never be mad at you for something like that. I meant it when I said you could trust me. We _are_ family Lou.”

Louis smiled at that, and shuffled closer to Harry, wrapping his arms around his waist. “I love you, Hazza.”

“I love you too Louis.”

-

When Liam woke up the next morning his room was quiet.

He carefully dropped his head and looked down in the bunk below him only to find it –

Empty?

 _That’s peculiar._ Liam thought. _I hope Louis didn’t fall asleep outside._

After putting some slippers on, Liam silently exited his room, and began making his way throughout the Bungalow.

It didn’t look like anyone else was awake, and with one look through the sliding door Liam realized that no, neither Harry nor Louis were outside anymore.

_Where could they be?_

“Hey Li,” Someone whispered. Liam turned around and came face to face with a grinning Niall, who was still in his pajamas with his usual messy bedhead.

“Yeah?” Liam whispered back. He had no idea why they were whispering, but it seemed weird to break the sereneness of the empty space.

“You gotta come see this.” Liam raised an eyebrow, but followed Niall anyway.

He led Liam into a bedroom, and a grin very similar to Niall’s found its way onto his face when he fully entered the room.

Zayn was already standing there, hovering over the bed containing Harry and Louis.

“Look guys,” Zayn said. “I pulled the sheet down and look.”

Harry and Louis were asleep, facing each other. Harry had his arms wrapped around Louis’ back, and Louis had his arms wrapped around Harry’s waist with his head buried in Harry’s neck.

Their legs were tangled together and they looked so cute Liam couldn’t help but coo.

“I found them like this about 20 minutes ago. Cute, eh?” Zayn said.

“Do you think they’re-“

Someone began to stir.

The rustling of sheets and the groan of a stretch made all the boys freeze in their tracks.

All three boys looked at each other fearfully, trying not to burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

Harry’s eyes opened slowly and he gave a little squeeze to Louis’ back before rolling over some, screaming loudly when he saw Zayn, Liam, and Niall standing at the foot of his bed.

“What are you guys doing here!?” He shouted, clutching is heart as his chest moved up and down quickly.

That woke Louis up, and he screamed too, jumping and knocking a lamp off of the side table. “What’s going on?” He shrieked.

He looked petrified, and Harry’s face went from annoyed, to concerned, to angry as he turned back to the boys. “Get out of here!” He shouted, shuffling over on the bed to grab Louis’ arms.

The boys nearly sprinted out of the room, until they all stopped in the living room, lasting about .2 seconds laughing loudly.

“Harry nearly pissed himself!” Niall said.

“I know it was-“

A door slammed and a very pissed off looking Harry walked into the room.

“What the hell was that?” He said through gritted teeth.

Niall was still laughing as he responded, “I don’t know mate, _you_ were the one who woke up. We didn’t do anything.”

“What were you guys even doing in there?”

“Well,” Liam started, itching the back of his neck. “I was looking for Louis, since he didn’t come to bed last night.” He looked over at Niall and Zayn, nodding slightly to them as he continued. “Then I saw you guys cuddling in bed together, and it was so cute that I just _had_ to show Niall and Zayn, so I called them in.”

Zayn nodded in agreement. “And right when we got in there, you woke up.” Liam had no idea why he made up the story of why they were all in Harry’s room, Niall and Zayn probably could’ve explained perfectly – and truthfully - what they were doing in there, but somehow Liam just felt a lot more comfortable doing it himself.

“I even took a picture,” Niall said, getting his phone out of his pocket and shoving it into Harry’s hands. “See?”

Harry sighed, defeated. “Alright. I’m sorry I yelled at you guys. I just get a little protective over Louis, ‘s all. I mean, you guys nearly scared the shit out of me and I could see your faces – but he can’t. I can only imagine what he thought was going on.”

“It’s okay Harry,” Liam said. “We’re all a little over-protective of Louis, even if we don’t show it. We understand.”

“Yeah mate, it’s alright.”

A crash was heard from behind Harry’s back, and Harry turned around to see a blushing Louis standing with his hands on the wall, and a painting of a flower at his feet. “Shit,” he cursed. “I hope that wasn’t something important.”

“Nah, it’s alright Lou,” Harry said, walking over to him and leaning the picture up against the wall.

“I always worry about that, because one time when I was at Stan’s house I was walking around with my hands on the wall, trying to guide myself, and I knocked down a picture of his Great Aunt Julie. Completely smashed it.”

All the boys laughed, and Louis spluttered. “Don’t laugh!” He shouted. “It was a very traumatic experience!”

Liam walked over to Louis and wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck, bringing him into a hug. “If you ever need to get around Lou,” he said, “just call me. I’m your trusty steed, remember?”

And if in the midst of all the boys’ laughter, Harry sent the picture of him and Louis cuddling to himself, well, nobody had to know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nightmare scene requested by brittlesweet ( i hope i did this scene justice )
> 
> and for the very kind anon who said they liked the notes i put on here: i was in a public restroom with my friend the other day and i was trying to cheer her up so i said "i accidentally touched a guys dick one time" (thats a story for another day) and right then a woman walked in and she just kind of stared at me for a while
> 
> my friend laughed  
> i cried  
> the woman continued to stare
> 
> ((i probably annoy the shit out of all of you with these dumb stories iM SORRY))
> 
> seriously this is getting tiring ((everything i said at the bottom of chapter 4 still applies))


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically i have not slept in 3 days and i was going to last night when suddenly i got the """brilliant""" idea to watch all the high school music movies back to back
> 
> i dont know why im telling you guys this
> 
> louis' fringe is cute okay enjoy

The pool was a lot more fun once Louis and Zayn had gotten a hang of the whole ‘swimming’ thing.

“I think I can hold my breath longer than any of you can.” Niall said suddenly.

“Oh yeah?” Harry challenged.

“Get me in this, I know I’ll win.” Liam said, paddling over to where Niall and Harry were treading in the shallow water.

Zayn swam by, holding Louis’ hand in his. “I think I’ll join you,” Zayn said. “I may be new to the water, but I can hold out a note pretty well.”

Louis smiled. “For what I lack in sight I make up for in lung capacity.”

“I thought for what you lack in sight you make up for in good looks?” Harry said with a smile.

“Mr. Styles are you calling me pretty?”

“Enough!” Niall shouted in a mock-presenter voice. “The games must begin! So I can collect my trophy and be gone!”

“ _Your_ trophy-“

“Gentlemen! Start – your – lungs!” Niall had his hand in the air and all the boys took a deep breath.

“On your mark! Get set! Go!”

All the boys went underwater, and after about a minute, Zayn popped back up.

He wiped his eyes and opened them, where he noted that he was the first person up. “Damnit.” He grumbled.

Niall came up shortly after, spluttering and spewing water all over Zayn. “Gross, mate! That water was in your mouth.”

“I –“ Niall was breathing heavy, and water continued to fall from him mouth. “I lost.” He coughed.

“That you did mate.” He padded over to where Niall was and slung an arm around him, patting his shoulder as Niall coughed one last time.

“Who do you think will be up next?” Niall asked.

Zayn shrugged. “I think Liam will win though,”

Bubbles erupted on the surface of the water in two places at once, and suddenly both Louis and Harry were stood up in the water.

Louis stuck his tongue out and wiped his face while Harry moved his hair out of the way before blinking his eyes open.

“Aw man,” he said, noticing that Liam was still underwater. “What place did I come in?”

“Technically, you and Louis both came in second.” 

Harry seemed content with that answer, while Louis looked a little bit confused.

“Zayn?” He asked out loud.

“Here.” Zayn replied.

“Harry?”

“Right here, Lou.”

“And?”

“Niall.” Harry said, patting Niall’s chest.

“Oh,” Louis said. “So Liam’s the winner then?”

As if on cue, Liam erupted from the water, hyperventilating, but grinning when he realized he won.

“Yes!” He cheered. “I told you I’d win!”

Zayn was smiling ear to ear while Niall muttered sourly to himself.

“That’s what you get for being so cocky, Ni!” Liam cheered, shoving him over.

“Don’t shove me, Payne!” Niall said as he turned around and tackled Liam into the water, sending Zayn and Harry in hysterics.

Louis however, was slowly trying to find the stairs to get out the pool. Holding his breath for so long made him lightheaded, and he really wasn’t in the mood for roughhousing.

He was standing on the top step of the pool when he heard Liam called out “Lou, wait!” No doubt bringing everyone’s attention to him.

Louis was about to turn around when he felt a warm body go in between his legs, lifting him up in the air, and suddenly he was sitting on Liam’s lower back.

“Whoa!” He laughed, grinning like mad as he firmly gripped Liam’s shoulder so he wouldn’t fall over.

“Now,” Liam smiled up at Louis as he began walking towards the house, “where did you want to go?”

-

If there was one thing Harry was sick and tired of, it was this ‘trusty steed’ bullshit.

Whenever Louis looked like he was ready to get up or wanted to go somewhere, Harry made sure he was beside Louis before anyone else. The thing was, Harry didn’t _like_ Liam guiding Louis around all the time. In fact, he _hated_ when Liam put his hands on Louis’ waist, or when he picked Louis up and gave him a piggyback ride.

Louis was _his_. _They_ were friends first, and Harry was damn sure he wanted the other boys to know it.

-

They were all lounging around on the couch, watching a movie, when Louis made the sudden move to stand up.

“Hey, would someone please –“

“I’ll do it!” Both Liam and Harry said at the same time.

Harry sent a straight death glare at Liam, who just stood up, ignoring Harry and going to Louis, grabbing one of his hands to help him up.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Ah – the kitchen. I have a water bottle in the fridge and –“

“No problem.” Liam smiled, grabbing Louis more firmly which left Harry fuming.

With one look at Harry, Niall immediately spoke up. “Uh mate –“

“You’re going to mess up, just let me do it.” Harry finally cracked, standing up and stalking over to where Liam started leading Louis away faster.

“No, Harry I’ve done it before and I’m doing fine now.”

“Uh, Liam –“ Louis squeaked. Liam was moving a _little bit_ too fast for Louis now, his mental image of the Bungalow being a lot fuzzier than he’s used to, his feet just couldn’t keep up with the directions he was going in. “Maybe you could-“

“I know this house better than you though!” Harry stated. “It’s _my_ Bungalow! Every nook, every cranny, I know it like the back of my hand.” Harry was following them now, down the hall and through the archway.

“Go sit down Harry I’ve got it-“

The faster Liam went, the more difficult it was for Louis to be led, and he outwardly whimpered when his leg banged against the wall where Liam was sharply turning, sending him crashing to the ground unbalanced, where he then bashed his head against the wall.

The white-hot pain brought tears to Louis’ eyes and he reached up to grab ahold of his now throbbing head.

“I _told_ you-“

“Really lads?” Niall called from the other end of the hallways, jogging down and bending next to Louis. “Louis could’ve just gotten really hurt and you’re fighting _still?_ Go get some ice, Liam, and Harry, go get some pain killers or summat.” He sent them both disapproving looks as they ran off to follow whatever order they were just given.

It only hit Harry, when he was on his way back to Louis, that his best friend was leaning against the wall crying because of _him._ All because _he_ wanted to be the only one to lead Louis around: he was so selfish, and now Louis was paying the price for it.

He felt horrible, errant and guilty all at once. His face scrunched up as he dropped the bottle of pills at Niall’s feet.

“I – I got them. Sorry.” He hiccupped the last bit before retreating to his bedroom quickly before he could make a further fool of himself.

“Oh god,” Niall sighed.

“What is it?” Louis asked, holding one ice pack to his head and another to his leg.

“’s just Harry.”

“Oh,” Louis said.

“Here,” Zayn entered the corridor with Liam by his side, carrying a glass of water. “Take two of those pain killers and then just drink the glass of water.”

Louis nodded and Liam sat down next to him. “I’m really sorry Lou,” he said. “I guess me and Harry got a little carried away.”

“It’s okay Li.” Louis smiled. “Give me a hug, will ya?” Liam laughed and wrapped his arms around Louis’ shoulders.

“It’s been a grand ol’ time, my trusty steed.” Louis whispered. “You’ve done good.”

-

About 20 minutes later, there was a knock at Harry’s door.

“Who is it?” He called from his mess of pillows and blankets on the bed.

“It’s me.”

And how could Harry ever deny Louis of anything? He stood up slowly, wiping his nose on his sleeve before opening the door.

“Come on,” Harry said slowly taking Louis’ hands in his, leading him to the bed and shutting the door behind him.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry blurted suddenly.

“It’s okay-“

“It’s not though,” Harry said. “I was selfish, and you got hurt because of it.”

“Haz,” Louis’ hands had since enclosed around Harry’s, the pad of his thumb stroking back and forth. “Do you really think that’s the first time something like that has ever happened to me? Because its not, I remember when I was little my Uncle was guiding me around and I fell right down the stairs.” He chuckled a little bit at the memory, and Harry smiled.

Louis lifted his hand to Harry’s face, and felt the stretched skin of his cheek. “There you go.” He said softly. “Smile for me, yeah?”

Harry leaned forward, and before he could stop himself he gave Louis a kiss on the cheek before bundling him up in a hug.

“Can I – can I be the only person to walk you around from now on?” Harry mumbled into his shoulder. “I’d feel a lot more comfortable if…”

“Sure Harry.” Louis said. “I would love that.”

-

Niall, Zayn, and Liam were sitting in the living room later that night, Harry and Louis having apparently decided not to leave Harry’s room.

“So, I was wondering.” Liam said, turning to Zayn and Niall. “What _were_ you guys doing in Harry’s bedroom the other morning?”

“Oh,” Zayn said. “Well I got up in the middle of the night to piss, yeah? And as I was walking past Harry’s bedroom, I could hear rustling of sheets and whispers and stuff.

“So I went to piss, and then I came back to my room, and told Niall about it – to which he immediately responded with ‘they’re fucking’ so we decided to go investigate.”

“But,” Niall added. “We knew we couldn’t go in right away, so we waiting about and hour just so we knew that they were asleep. Finally, we went in and looked through the rubbish bin first. For, you know, any _used_ objects.”

“We didn’t find anything though,” Zayn continued. “So we looked in the hamper for any soiled clothes.”

“Could find anything in there either.” Niall shrugged. “But then we actually looked over and saw them and they just looked so _cute.”_

“That’s pretty much it. Niall was wrong – they weren’t having sex.”

“They will though!” Niall argued. “I know it!”

“Just how you knew you’d win in the holding your breath competition?” Liam joked.

“But this I’m sure about.” Niall grumbled. “I’m sure.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the "by the end of the bungalow trip louis only lets harry guide him bc the boys mess up" was suggested my Emme (i had a lot of fun writing the basis for this chapter so thank you) the amounts of protective!harry were sort of not really suggested by danielle but you helped so im putting you down here anyway
> 
> now the moment youve all been waiting for
> 
> the (someone please kill me) dick story:
> 
> so i was walking down the hallway at school - which is obviously the best place to grab some dick - and i had my binders in my hands and whatever
> 
> when all of a sudden i tripped and go crashing to the ground and all my books fly everywhere
> 
> as if i wasnt horrified enough already, my crush walked up behind me and was like "omf Olivia do you need help" and i was like "oh yes my knight in shinning armer i do need help yes help" 
> 
> so he bent down (this next parts important) to get one of my /books/
> 
> me, i was fucking blinded by his good looks or something - because i thought he was reaching down to grab /me/ and help me up off the floor
> 
> so i reached up, thinking he was going to take my hand, but he didn't
> 
> and instead he bent down to grab my book, while i was still reaching up to grab him
> 
> basically my whole entire hand just landed on is clothed penis and i want to both celebrate and burst into tears
> 
> i ended up doing none of that however, because after forgetting to /remove/ my hand, he ran away
> 
> yeah that actually happened to me
> 
> god why
> 
> i tolD MY MOM AND SHE LAUGHED SO HARD ICED COFFEE CAME OUT HER NOSE AND I WAS LIKE "MOTHER IT WAS A VERY TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE" AND SHE WAS LIKE "IM SORRY IM SORRY BUT OLIVIA YOU NEED TO LEARN TO GIVE A BETTER HAND-JOB SO THEY WONT RUN AWAY UNTIL AFTER YOUVE FINISHED"
> 
> I JUST WANT A NORMAL FAMILY 
> 
> INSTEAD OF PUTTING THE PARENTHESES LIKE I NORMALLY DO IM JUST GOING TO SAY SERIOUSLY GUYS TELL ME WHAT YOU WHAT TO HAPPEN OMFG PLEASE


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the anon who asked me when i was going to post this chapter and i said last thursday, that was the original plan you see but then i was an idiot and dropped some pizza on my keyboard and then the keys stopped working (talk about unfortunate) i ruined my laptop and pizza the 2 things i love most in this world
> 
> but its fixed now so 
> 
> yay
> 
> im going on vacation again this weekend which is why i put this chapter up today
> 
> it is longer than normal
> 
> it is also worse than normal
> 
> (i edited this while watching 17 again iM SORRY)

“This place is _huge.”_  Niall said in awe as the limo pulled up outside the Judges House in Marbella, Spain.

“Well it is _Simon Cowell-“_

“Look other people are here already! I wonder who’s in the house with us!”

“Look it’s those girls that were with us when we were put together –“

“What were they called?”

“Belle Amie or something, I think-”

“Oh yeah –“

Louis sunk further in his seat, trying to ignore the chatter from his bandmates.

 _You’ll know what it looks like soon,_ he told himself, _you’ll know who’s in your house soon._

When the vehicle slowed down, the four boys were at a loss for words and instead jumped right out of the car, leaving their bags, and Louis behind.

Louis exhaled slowly, pushing his head back against the headrest before someone opened the door next to him.

“Mr. Tomlinson,” it was the driver. “Would you like some help?”

“Oh,” Louis said, unbuckling his seatbelt and putting his legs outside. “No thank you sir,”

“I’ll leave the trunk open, then.” He said as he walked off somewhere.

Louis was getting out of the car when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He jumped a little bit at the sudden contact; the hand was too hesitant to be one of the boys.

“Hi, Louis right?”

Louis nodded hesitantly, “I don’t recognize your voice, I’m sorry.”

“I’m Craig,” The voice touching his arm said.

“And I’m Josef.” introduced someone else, gripping Louis’ hand.

Louis smiled. “Diva fever!” He exclaimed, “I remember now! Great audition guys, really, you can sing.” It was true, Louis remembered listening to the audition. Louis Walsh really liked them – they got three yeses. They sang _Proud Mary_ and were nicknamed the ‘epic gay duo’.

“So can you, kid.” Craig replied, ruffling Louis’ hair as he shut the car door for Louis.

“Kid?” Louis laughed, “you’re only like, 3 years older than me!”

“Yeah, but Josef’s nearly 8 years older than you,”

Josef laughed. “We just wanted to show you around a little bit, make sure you can get around okay.”

“That’s really nice of you guys – you don’t have to you know, if you’d rather –“

“Of course we want to!” Craig interrupted, throwing an arm around Louis and walking him forward. “Which bag is yours, love?” He asked once they reached the rear of the limo.

“It’s a blue duffel bag, and then I have a gray backpack.”

Louis heard shuffling, and the arm on his shoulder moved around a bit as Craig grabbed the correct bags from the trunk, handing them off to Josef and returning his attention back to Louis.

“The house is pretty big, but we _are_ only here for a week,” Craig said, leading Louis towards the main entrance. “Here – give me your hand,” Craig removed his arm from around Louis’ shoulder and grabbed his hand instead. Louis instinctively intertwined their fingers.

As they approached the door, Josef placed Louis’ bags on the ground and slung an arm around Louis’ hips. Craig raised their joined hands and placed them on the door.

“It’s stained glass,” Craig said, “that’s how you know this place is expensive.”

Louis laughed at that, and both Craig and Josef pulled Louis back as the door opened suddenly.

“Sorry Lou,” Harry said, “I really wanted to make sure we got a room together-“

“No big deal,” Louis smiled, “Craig and Josef here are going to show me around a little bit. So you can go off with the rest of the boys if you’d like.”

“But Louis don’t you want to see our room? We’re sharing with Niall –“

“He can see the room later mate,” Craig said, and Harry stared at their intertwined fingers a lot longer than necessary. “When he actually goes to sleep.”

Harry looked at Louis. “Are you sure you don’t want to see the room?”

“Craig has a point,” Louis said. “Going up and down the stairs is a little difficult for me, I’d rather go up only when I have to.”

Harry squinted a bit. “If you’re sure…” He paused. “I think I’ll go see who else is in the house with us.”

“That sounds like a good idea. You better tell me because it’d be a little weird going around and feeling everyone’s faces so I know who they are.” Louis grimaced and Harry laughed.

“Can I have a hug?” And yes, maybe Harry was just asking so Craig and Josef would know Louis was _his_ best friend in this house – but Louis’ hugs really were something to have, so Harry _really_ couldn’t pin it on just one thing.

Craig and Josef let go of Louis, and Harry walked forwards and wrapped his arms around Louis’ shoulders, burying his head in Louis’ neck.

When he pulled back, he looked at Craig once before he leaned forward and kissed Louis’ cheek. Thankfully, due to all that time spent at the Bungalow, Louis didn’t even flinch. “I’ll see you later,” Harry said.

“Okay,” Louis nodded. “Bye Harry.” He stopped waving when he heard the front door close again.

-

“Spandex, Niall. They’re wearing _spandex.”_

“Harry-“

“It’s not normal,"

“Harry-“

“You can’t trust people who wear spandex.”

“ _Harry!”_ Niall shouted, throwing a pair of shorts at him.

“Wha-“

“I’m sure their pants are going to be spreading _lies_ about anyone,” Harry grumbled and Niall continued. “They seem like perfectly good guys.”

“Yeah,” Zayn agreed from where he was sitting on the single bed flipping through a magazine. “And you know what they say, you can’t judge a book by its… pants.” He finished awkwardly, making Niall laugh.

“I can try!” Harry said. “And get off Louis’ bed would ‘ya? You’ll wrinkle the sheets.”

-

“We should be practicing-“

“Relax Liam-“

“I’ve been here before Harry we need to be practicing-“

“It’s out first day-“

“A day that should’ve been spent-“

“Jesus Christ Liam just shut up and enjoy the movie.” Most of the houseguests decided that – for a bonding activity – they should all watch a movie together.

Some of the houseguests like the group Husstle, and the group Twem, went to bed early, so that meant 24 people were spread around the oversized living room.

Louis was squished in the corner of the sofa with Zayn next to him. Next to Zayn was Niall, then Liam, and then Harry.

Harry wasn’t really paying attention to the movie, instead he would look over whenever Zayn would whisper to Louis what was happening, and sometimes Craig would lean over too from where he sat on the floor.

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and _tried_ to ignore them for the rest of the film.

Which he did a pretty good job of.

When the movie ended it was about 11, and everyone sluggishly trailed off to their rooms. Harry stood up and stretched, said goodnight to Liam and Zayn - who were sharing a room with Matthew and Calvin from F.Y.D.

Harry scratched his head and took a look around, his eyes adjusting to the new darkness with the TV turned off.

He smiled to himself when he noticed Louis curled up asleep, his head tilted to one side and his lips parted, puffs of air escaping them evenly.

Harry walked over and carefully unfolded Louis’ body, moving his knees from his chest so Harry could snake his arms around him and carry him bridal style.

The stairs were a little difficult, mostly because Harry didn’t want to bash Louis’ head on the railing or something.

Slowly, Harry placed Louis on the one single bed in the room, and then bad his way back to the bottom bunk on the bed he shared with Niall.

-

Liam worked them hard in the morning, they picked out the song ‘Torn’ by Natalie Imbruglia, and they had sang is so many times already that Harry had no idea how he’d get through the week without wanting to stab himself in the face.

But since Marbella was near the coast, around lunchtime everyone in the house had gathered together and had all decided to go to the beach as a nice break – with the exception of Louis.

Louis wasn’t really fond of the beach; to be frank it made him quite uncomfortable. With the never-ending sand, there were no markers to indicate where he was, as apposed to sidewalks and patches of grass.

To go along with getting lost easily, the ocean really freaked Louis out. He had no idea what was in there, for starters. The current could pull him away too, and he wouldn’t know what direction shore was in.

After much debate with the boys, Harry finally decided that it was probably in Louis’ best interest for him to just stay at the house.

Louis was grateful of that, and began his time alone in the house by sitting down and watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians – which got pretty boring after a while considering the whole reason they’re famous is because they’re supposedly gorgeous, and Louis had no idea what they looked like.

So, he decided to walk around the house a little bit, see what he could do to occupy himself. Craig and Josef’s tour had been a lot more helpful than he expected, and he made a map of the house in his mind, and he remembered them saying something about a music room…

-

“Hey Li?” Harry asked, throwing a towel back on the ground.

“Yeah?”

“I think I left my towel back inside,”

Liam was silent a moment. “Go get it then.” He shrugged.

“No,” Harry drawled out, pouting. “Please come with me Li,”

“Why can’t you go yourself? I’m trying to eat my sandwich.”

“What if someone tries to murder me and I’m to weak to defend myself?” Liam gave him a look of exasperation, and Harry stuck his lip out more. “Please?”

Liam sighed before rubbing a hand over his face. “Fine, fine.” He got up and threw some sand off his swim trunks. “Zayn?” he called.

Zayn looked over from where he was talking with Cameron, and member of Princes and the Rogues. “Yeah?”

“Can you put my sandwich in your bag? So it wont get sand all in it?”

Harry stood patiently as Zayn threw Liam his backpack, Liam wrapping up his sandwich carefully before putting it in.

“Thanks mate,” Liam said.

“God you’re so polite.” Harry said as they made their way back to the house.

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

The sand stuck to Harry’s feet and the water dripped off his hair, so Harry made a point to try to shake himself dry in Liam’s direction.

“Hey!” Liam laughed. “Get away from me!” He shoved Harry forward a bit and they finally neared the house. Both boys were laughing as Liam held Harry at arms distance away.

“Wipe your feet before you enter the house,” Liam said and Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re not serious.”

“I am,” Liam nodded. “You’ve got sand and water all over yourself.”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly before doing as told and opening the front door.

“See?” Liam said. “That wasn’t so hard.”

Harry scoffed. “Just help me find my towel. I think I left it –“ Liam slapped Harry’s shoulder and Harry paused. “What?”

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what? I can’t hear anything over my nice dry towel calling my name let’s _go_ -“

“No Harry, listen.”

Harry looked over in confusion but then he actually did hear something: the distant sound of piano.

“Wait a minute,” Harry said, getting Liam’s attention. “The only other person in here is –“

“I know, shh,” Liam said, bringing a finger to his lips. “Where’s it coming from?”

The pair followed the sound until they reached a closed door that only Liam recognized as the music room, and slowly opened it.

_“…thought it all been said,_

_“A little bit longer, and I’ll be fine.”_

Harry looked over at Liam with his mouth dropped in shock because _Louis_ was _playing the piano._ Liam looked more confused than awed, but he placed his finger back to his lips as the slow chords of the piano picked up again.

_“But you don’t know what you’ve got until its gone,_

_“And you don’t know what it’s like to feel so low,_

_“And every time you smile you laugh you glow,_

_“You don’t even know, know, know,_

_“You don’t even know,”_

It was weird to watch him. Louis was facing the door from where he was sitting in front of the large instrument, and even though Harry knew that Louis couldn’t see him standing there, it would feel wrong to walk all the way into the room. The little smile on Louis’ face, that was _his_. The way his fingers trailed along the wood of the piano keys that was _his._ The words coming out of his mouth in such a melodic way, that was _his_.

And Harry never wanted to take that away from him.

_“All this time goes by,_

_“Still no reason why,_

_“A little bit longer, and I’ll be fine,_

_“Waiting on a cure_

_“But none of them are sure,_

_“A little bit longer, and I’ll be fine,_

_“But you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone_

_“And you don’t know what it’s like to feel so low,_

_“And every time you smile you laugh you glow,_

_“You don’t even know, know, know,_

_“You don’t even know, know, know,_

_“You don’t even know, know, know,”_ Louis stopped singing and just played for a while, the deep sounds echoing across the room as Louis nodded his head to the beat. When he sang again, his voice was much more powerful, much more personal.

_“But you don’t know what you’ve got until its gone_

_“And you don’t know what its like to feel so low,_

_“And every time you smile you laugh you glow,_

_“You don’t even know,”_ Louis went off on a tangent mixed with ‘yeah’s and ‘oh’s, his voice rising and lowering several octaves in one breath, and while Liam and Harry both knew that Louis was a good singer, he had never showed them anything like _that_ before.

The playing stopped dramatically, and then started up again much slower than before. Louis’ voice was soft.

_“So I’ll wait ‘til kingdom come,_

_“All the highs and lows are gone_

_“A little bit longer, and I’ll be fine,_

_“I’ll be… fine.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can this be classified as a cliffhanger? well lets see urban dictionary defines a cliffhanger as: 
> 
> "When your reading/watching a book, movie or something and at an amazing or cool part and you have to stop for what ever reason (too tired to go on, not enough time etc.) so you're left 'hanging' on the 'cliff'"
> 
> well the end of this chapter was neither amazing nor cool but i stopped writing after this bc i was tired and out of time so i guess its a 50/50
> 
> in other news im fostering kittens and i named them louis and harry theyre real cuties (✿◠‿◠)
> 
> i have pictures of them snuggling and oh my lord its so cute louis is actually sitting next to be rn and harrys grooming him but louis has a cold so he keeps sneezing its adorable 
> 
> (also the song louis sang in this chapter was by the jonas brothers ((dont h8 man have you seen him nick is smokin now)) but in this fic louis wrote it himself so lets pretend together ok ok)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sweats nervously] [hopes you all arent mad at me for leaving for a month] [wants to tell you why but doesnt want to bore you with my shitty life] [gently suggests you re-read the last chapter so you know what the fuck is going on] [runs away]

It was silent for a while, Louis pressing lightly on the keys while Harry and Liam just waited by the door, wanting to say something but not wanting to break the serene silence the room had adapted.

“Louis?” Harry eventually called out, making Louis jump and slam his knee on the underside of the piano.

“Shit!” He cursed, and Harry was immediately by his side on the piano bench, wrapping an arm around Louis’ shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry – I didn’t mean to make you –“

“Its okay,” Louis chuckled a bit, “Just don’t sneak up on me, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry agreed quickly, already thinking of running down the hall and getting an icepack. “I’m sorry,” Harry apologized again, frowning.

“Harry really I’m okay.” Louis smiled and Harry did too, about to ask him something about the song he was just singing, when Liam spoke up.

“How do you know how to play the piano?” And to be honest, Harry almost wished that Liam wasn’t there. That Harry had sucked it up and went to get his towel alone – so it was only him who got to watch Louis play. That way, he and Louis would’ve actually been able to _talk_ about it. But with Louis now aware of Liam’s presence, he was surely just going to make a joke of things.

Harry knows it’s selfish but he doesn’t want to share this side of Louis. He doesn’t want anyone else see him so deep in thought, so vulnerable. He wants it for himself. He wants Louis for himself. But, Harry knew how improbable that was.

Louis and Harry both looked in Liam’s direction, but only Harry could see his astonished expression, and the way his arms hung loosely at his sides, but Harry guessed that Louis could hear all of that in Liam’s voice.

“Well Liam,” Louis said, putting his hands on the piano and playing a short melody. “It’s sort of like typing, and how eventually you can do it without looking. You just have to memorize where the keys are - I just had to work a bit harder because I never got to see them.”

“I can’t even play the piano,” Liam said, and Louis shrugged a bit. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Louis smiled. “You never asked.”

-

“But you wrote the song you sang in the music room yesterday.”

“Harry-“

“I know you did, I can tell.”

“Harry-“

“What was the meaning? When did you write it? Why did you write it?”

“Jesus _Christ_ Harry shut up and let me get to practice!”

“Not until you tell me why you wrote it!”

“Harry the boys are waiting for us!” Louis tried his best to push past Harry, but quickly realized that even if he succeeded in _that_ , he still wouldn’t be able to get to the room alone.

“I don’t care! They can wait 5 minutes!”

Louis sighed – half in defeat and half in exasperation - and both boys were quiet, Harry’s lips pressed in a firm line as he looked to the ground.

“Cortical Blindness.” Louis said, making Harry’s head snap up to look at him. “That’s what I have.”

“I know,” Harry nodded.

“The problem isn’t my eye, it’s in my occipital lobe, which is in my brain.”

Harry nodded, before remembering that Louis couldn’t – well. So instead he just said, “yeah.”

Louis didn’t say anything for a moment. “And because of that, it’s one of the most curable forms of blindness there is-“

Harry’s face immediately lit up, a sharp gleeful squeak cutting Louis off. “Louis that’s great!” Harry grinned, his heart beating faster because _Louis might see one day._ The thought itself made Harry stomach erupt with butterflies, his whole body lift off the ground and positively _glow_. Suddenly the boys waiting for them downstairs didn’t seem to matter as much as it did a second ago, and the weight of the X factor dissipated – just for a moment – because whether they made it or not, _Louis might see one day._

“No it’s not.” Louis shook his head, finally opening his eyes and raising his head.

Harry’s previous happiness wasn’t gone; it was just masked with confusion, “Why? You might be able to _see_ one day Louis! That would be so incredible!”

“I wrote that song in the hospital, Harry.” Louis admitted quietly.

“What?”

“What they do is CAT scan your head, yeah? Like they do for cancer patients, to try to see what’s wrong in there,” Louis gestured vaguely around his head, and Harry slowly reached forward and grabbed Louis’ elbows, lowering his hands, and intertwining their fingers.

“But for some reason, cortical blindness doesn’t show up on CAT scans VEP scans, or anything really. So they have to go in there themselves.”

“What did they do?”

“I was in that hospital bed for weeks Harry, listening to the same sentence over and over again – ‘Sorry Mr. Tomlinson, we can’t seem to find the problems origins.’ They kept me there to try out new things on me, like I was their test dummy or summat.” He cocked his head a little bit, and blinked. “I didn’t mind though, I thought it meant that I would see someday. But it didn’t.”

“You don’t know that for sure-“

“I’m pretty positive, Harry.”

“But you aren’t.” Harry pressed, adamant to get his point to Louis. “If they can cure other people, they can cure you.”

“Every case is different Harry, you have to understand.” Harry’s brow furrowed and Louis continued. “Different causes, different symptoms, different diagnoses, and it all leads to a different outcome.”

Harry squinted a bit. “I think you’ll be okay one day.”

-

Watching TV wasn’t something Louis did often, but he did enjoy it. Movies were more his style though, because movies took into considering both blind people _and_ deaf people, so they were a lot easier to follow along with.

He’s waiting for Harry, is what he’s really doing. They’re on a break from practicing and Harry had insisted he make them both lunch, and the living room was the easiest place to find, so by default, Louis has ended up there.

He sat patiently, an episode of _Americas Next Top Model_ sounding around the room filled Louis with a weird type of nostalgia, lowering his senses and making him miss the quick and quiet sound of wind swooshing in his ears as Nathan and Scott from _The Reason_ waved their hands in front of Louis’ face.

And of course they were making fun of him, mocking him really. They smothered their laughter expertly as they so _hilariously_ continued to move their hands around Louis’ body, loving the fact that despite Louis’ eyes being wide open, he had no idea they were there.

Unfortunately for them, Harry walked in right when Nathan and Scott were waving their middle fingers in front of Louis’ face.

“Hey!” He shouted angrily, unceremoniously dropping the plate full of turkey and cheese sandwiches on a nearby table.

Louis immediately flinched, recognizing Harry’s voice but not recognizing the fury in it.

Nathan and Scott flinched too, moving backwards as Harry stalked irritably towards Louis, yanking him up from the couch with the full intention of getting him away from the bastards _as soon as possible._

Louis had no idea why he was being pulled so roughly, _why had Harry yelled at him?_ He opened his mouth to apologize for something – _anything_ – but it went completely unnoticed by Harry, who was too busy glaring at Nathan and Scott as their mouths floundered for an excuse.

“Don’t even think about it,” Harry seethed making all 3 boys snap their mouths shut. “You can’t possibly be trying to make up an excuse for what you were doing.” Harry reached out to point at Nathan and Scott, instinctively tightening his hold on Louis’ shirt collar, making him stumble. “You’re a lowlife _scum_ \- doing something like that. If I ever find out that you do it again I will _rip your fucking hands off.”_ Harry roared.

Louis had never witnessed Harry being so angry before. _What have I done?_ Louis thought to himself. _What have I done to make Harry so angry?_ He wanted to cry, he couldn’t have Harry mad at him, he _needed_ Harry. But he hadn’t done anything! Or had he? Maybe Harry was finally sick of him, and he snapped. But surely that couldn’t be it?

“I don’t want to see you around him ever again do you hear me!” Harry screamed again.

 _Was someone else in the room?_ But whom had Louis been near to make Harry react like _that?_ Louis is actually beginning to get frightened. Harry sounds about ready to punch someone and Louis really couldn’t think of anything he had done to get Harry so riled up.

Harry’s cheeks were flushed, his nostrils were flaring, and his was chest puffed out, and when neither Nathan nor Scott nodded right away Harry let go of Louis and walked directly over to them and grabbed them by the shoulders.

And yes Harry was 16 still, and not all that tall yet, and maybe he was still a little pudgy around the cheeks, but anybody would be at least _slightly_ frightened by the way Harry vice-gripped their shoulders and pulled them in to whisper a menacing _“you better watch your fucking back,”_ into their ears.

But Louis didn’t see this, nor hear it, and suddenly the, “ _You wanna be on top, top, top? You wanna be on top, top, top?”_ chant made its way into Louis’ head, banging on the inside of his skull so he could no longer hear nor see nor _move_ because Harry wasn’t leading him anymore – why wasn’t Harry leading him anymore?

Louis lowered his head using the heels of his hands to wipe at his eyes and his fingers to pull at his hair, as if he could physically remove the _“you wanna be on top? Na Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na,”_ from his head.

Frustrated tears started to break free but suddenly warm hands were all over him, touching his shoulders, rubbing his arms, removing his hands from his head and even in his cloudy, unfocused state he knew it was Harry.

“Louis what’s wrong? Did they say something rude to you Louis I’m so sorry I wasn’t out here sooner.” And Harry was hugging him, but Louis was still _so_ confused.

“What’s wrong Louis? Please tell me they didn’t hurt you.” Hands roamed about his body, his stomach and his arms mainly, but all Louis could think about was,

“Why were you screaming at me? What have I done?” And Louis voice broke on the last word and he hated himself for it, because even though Harry seems to be having _extreme_ mood swings, Louis doesn’t want to show Harry how sad he is incase Harry starts to yell at him again.

“What do you mean, love? I was yelling at –“ And then it hit Harry, and he froze. He realized that he had never specified _whom_ he was yelling at because he never used _names_ – well, not proper ones at least.

And based on Nathan and Scott’s previous antics, Louis obviously had no idea they were even there.

“Oh Louis,” Harry said, running his fingers through Louis’ hair. “I wasn’t yelling at you, I would never.”

“Then who?” Louis asked, finding relief in the crook of Harry’s neck.

“Just some immature twats, is all.”

“Well ‘some immature twats’ sure made you cross.” Louis pulled back a little bit. “What were they doing, Harry?”

Harry exhaled slowly, “Just like – just being dumb –“

“Harry, it was more than being dumb if you _swore_ at them. You never swear.” Louis pointed out.

“They were just like, waving their hands in front of your face and like, laughing about it.”

Louis nodded slowly, not really wanting to talk about it, knowing Harry would somehow delve deeper into the subject like he tended to do. He instead opted for saying, “Where’s my lunch, then?”

So Harry grabbed their plate from the table and moved them outside to eat, where he apologized about ten more times but finally stopped when the other One Direction boys joined them. Liam brought up how well they all sounded together, and Louis and Niall somehow managed to turn it from an important conversation to that of one filled with laughter and opera singing.

It was safe to say Louis didn’t think about Americas Next Top Model for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic just keeps getting worse and worse might as well jump ship now
> 
> funny story about americas next top model though, i was watching it with my mom while writing this
> 
> and i was singing "you wanna be on top top top you wanna be on top top top" during the commercial break and without even looking at me my mom goes "olivia you should just stop singing that you dont even have to ask everyone knows youd be a bottom" 
> 
> like omfg??? mOTHER


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i dont even know what to put in the top note other than how much i hate school and by hate school i mean hATE SCHOOL

Harry doesn’t mind mornings, he decides as he crawls up onto Louis’ bed. They have three more days left until they perform, and Harry feels pretty good about the whole _get through to the next level_ thing.

Louis isn’t a very heavy sleeper, but Harry is quiet, _stealthy,_ if you will. He plants himself on his stomach right next to where Louis’ body is sprawled out on top the sheets instead of under them (weird one, he is), and Harry lightly drags his fingertips across Louis’ stomach.

Harry smiles to himself as Louis shifts, and he adds just a _bit_ more pressure to the force of his fingers.

“If I find out that it’s anything under eight in the morning, you’re dead to me, Styles.” Louis growls sleepily.

Harry laughs quietly and presses his palm flat. “How’d you know it was me?”

“Who else would it be?” Louis mumbles, hands over his eyes and in his hair, Harrys soon following, his hands trailing up Louis’ arms and on his cheeks. “Who else would be so excited to see me first thing in the morning?”

“I’m always excited to see you.” Harry smiles into Louis’ cheek causing Louis smile and wrap his arms around Harry’s narrow frame.

“That’s my point.” Louis says, rather giddily.

“And _my_ point,” Harry says, leaning up on his elbows to look at Louis’ face, making Louis’ hands slip from his shoulders to his waist, “is that you need to get up now. We need have breakfast before Liam and Zayn no doubt round us up for non-stop rehearsal. Not that I’m complaining, I want us to be the very best.”

“Like no one ever was?” Louis finishes, making him and Harry laugh.

“ _To catch them is my real test!_ ” Harry sings loudly.

“ _To train them is my cause!_ ” They belted together.

“ _Oh, you’re my best friend, in a world we must defend!_ ” They drawled out the last word, breaking out into a fit of laughter.

“ _Pokémon, a heart so true! Our courage will pull us through_ -“

“Fucking _Christ_ will you just shut up?” Niall groaned suddenly from across the room, making both boys freeze before laughing even harder than they were before.

“Sorry Ni,” Louis said. “You picked the top bunk and well, you just kinda get lost up there.”

“The whole fucking world is lost to you two.”

-

Practice was average; all they really did was make sure they got the harmonies right. Boring, really. Although, at one point Harry had grabbed Louis’ feet and started to drag him around the floor.

But then Niall sat on Louis’ chest, and Harry didn’t like the way that Louis held him steady but grabbing his hips – so he stopped.

The rest of the day was average as well. Craig and Josef sat with Louis at dinnertime, pointedly ignoring the glares Harry was sending.

It was only around 3 in the morning that something interesting happened.

Louis was awake, had awoken for god knows what reason, but now he couldn’t seem to get back to sleep.

It was his bladder, he had decided. He didn’t go to the bathroom before he went to bed because the group members of _Twem_ were holding a fucking secret meeting in there or _something_ that took way longer than necessary.

Louis had no idea what time it was. Hell, he didn’t even know if it was light or dark out. He rolled over and reached for his phone on the bedside table, putting the volume all the way down and then turning it up 1 setting so that it would be pretty quiet. He didn’t bother unlocking it, just pressing his finger lightly on the screen so it would read out the time to him.

“ _3:28 a.m_.” His phone spoke, and Louis sighed. He knew that he couldn’t just go back to sleep, and he’d feel guilty about waking Harry up simply to walk Louis to the bathroom and back, so he did what any probable man would do.

He got out of bed and decided to make the trek on his own.

His mental map of upstairs paled in comparison to that of downstairs. He only went upstairs once a day and Harry _always_ ushered him straight to bed.

Louis realized with a grunt that his walking stick was in the living room and mentally cursed himself for brushing his teeth in the downstairs bathroom every day.

 _It certainly cant be_ that _hard,_ Louis thought to himself as he stepped out of bed, his arms immediately shooting out in front of him like a zombie.

Exiting the room was fairly simple, and he stepped out into the hallway with a grin on his face. He took his first step and turned right, keeping his hand on the wall for support.

After bumping into approximately 3 side tables and smacking right into someone else’s door when he had reached the end of a hallway, he decided that maybe it was time to turn around.

-

To say Louis was lost would be an understatement. All the doors felt the same, they didn’t have numbers on them or anything – it wasn’t a hotel, after all.

He had been this way, and that, and had realized a fatal flaw in his plan:

He had no way to distinguish the difference between the bathroom door and someone’s bedroom door.

Louis kept going anyway, hoping that the bathroom door would be cool to the touch as opposed the warm wood he kept running his hands over.

What caught Louis off-guard was the fact that the ground suddenly _disappeared_ right under his feet.

It made sense though, when his right foot hit the top stair and his knee locked, propelling him forward and sending him tumbling down the stairs.

 _Thump, thump, thump, thump – Jesus how many stairs are there?_ Louis used his arms to try to shield his face as the wood of the stairs and the railings abused his body _over, over, and over, and seriously how big is this staircase?_ But he finally reached the end, and landed on the ground with a groan of ‘ah fuck!’ because his foot got trapped under his thigh and he’s about 99% sure that it’s _not_ supposed to bend that way.

He crosses his arms over his face and wills himself not to cry because it’s embarrassing enough that he fell down the stairs. He doesn’t need to cry too.

He bits his lip really hard, his thoughts flooding with something his mate told him one time: “you cant hurt in more than one place at a time” and decides that it’s bullshit because his ankle is throbbing and his lip is bleeding and he can surely feel both.

The ground rumbles then, and Louis hears the inevitable commotion of his housemates running down the stairs.

And of _course_ Harry’s there first – Harry’s _always_ there first and Louis wants to laugh at the irony of him not wanting to wake Harry up but here is Harry is anyway, awake _and_ upset, but Louis holds his laughter for some other day.

“Louis, oh my god, are you okay?” Harry’s chanting those last four words like a Minatra, and Louis doesn’t say anything in response, wants to get his voice in check before he tries to speak.

Liam’s there now too, and no doubt the rest of the house, but Louis can feel Liam trying to move his leg from under his thigh. Liam puts his hands on Louis’ bent leg and gently lifts his other one, trying to maneuver Louis’ foot out from under himself but Louis just cries out in pain, shocks from his ankle going all the way up his spine.

“Stop Liam you’re hurting him!” Harry shouted.

“No Harry, he needs to get his leg straight-“

“No _Liam,_ he needs _you_ to stop hurting him!”

“I called an ambulance,” someone said and Louis honestly wanted to die.

“Thanks David,” Harry said, and Louis groaned as his leg twitched, slowly lowering his arms from his face.

“What were you thinking Louis?” Harry hissed, and Louis wasn’t surprised by his tone. Louis was dumb, tried to do something on his own and look where it got him.

He was dependent, he cant just _do things_ like other people can but he thought the X Factor would give him some confidence, some separation from his peers in terms of his illness.

But his progress with all of that seemed to have fallen down the stairs with him, and now mirrors Louis lying broken on the ground.

“Needed to pee.” Louis said, not even bothering to open his eyes. “Still need to, actually.”

Harry made what sounded like a mixture between a laugh and a scoff and Louis didn’t know why. He really had to pee.

-

_“I’m cold and I am shamed,_

_“Lying naked on the floor,”_

“Stop, stop!” Liam yelled, frustrated. “It’s no use,” he sighed. “We just don’t sound right without Louis!”

Harry threw the lyric sheet on a nearby table. “We sound like shit.” He deadpanned.

Zayn ran his hands down his face. “What time is it?”

“Nearing 4,” Liam answered.

“Can we just go wait for Louis now?” Niall asked. “There’s really no point in practicing anymore.”

Liam exhaled slowly and nodded. “Yeah, lets go.”

It had been a long day for the One Direction boys. The ambulance had showed up and whisked Louis away to the hospital where he was now. He was supposed to be coming home at 5 and Niall, Liam, Zayn, and Harry had tried – and failed – to keep everything on track without him.

They waited out on the steps and didn’t really talk much, each one of them slowly realizing that they all counted on Louis to fill the silence by either singing, laughing, or asking some question like ‘what color are my shorts right now?’

They were truly lost without him, Harry especially. Him and the other three boys got along well, of course they did. But while Harry was busy spending every moment with Louis – Liam, Zayn, and Niall spent it with each other.

He just felt like the odd one out, a fourth wheel, if that was even a thing. Which is why he’d grinned larger than life when one of the X Factor customary limos rolled up.

Louis had gotten out of the car with crutches in his hand and his foot bandaged up but all four other boys disregarded this as they ran up to Louis and wrapped their arms around him.

Lifting Louis up and carrying him back into the house was an unspoken ordeal, and they all laughed and smiled to each other because Louis was right back where he belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a very interesting wednesday. 
> 
> the whole story is too long but basically my dad drove around the town in a panic looking for me, my spanish teacher fell into the ocean, i ran into a cemetery trying to avoid my old math teacher and apparently i now have a boyfriend who talks about stars a lot
> 
> maybe ill write a larry au about it and make myself louis (but change the ending so louis really does get a boyfriend who talks about stars a lot)


End file.
